oonaballoona

it's just a phase

2012-01-23T14:22:00.000-05:00

i made a flow chart. kinda.

so yeah, i've been thinking my creativity is directly linked to my uterus. peeps of the female persuasion, do you find this to be true? during the ovulatory phase, i'm literally going full blast. that's right about now. been sewing up a storm against kenny's will. stand back, citizens. my body has decided if it's not making babies, it's sure as hell making clothing. oh, i have so much to show you! to wit: one skirt! two tops! THREE DRESSES! all patiently waiting for the move and a sunny backyard!

it's rocking in kalkatroona. but i know the end of the luteal phase is coming, when hormones give the order to commence preparations for le Time Of The Month. during those days, i'll pick up fabrics and match them with patterns, disgusted at my pairings, or try to drape something that quickly becomes a miserable mess, or hell, maybe just attempt a tracing, but none of these suddenly rocky paths will lead to mecca. my brain comes back when the cycle begins again. i guess it's really about three days out of the month where i'm sunk (and this is not my actual period, it's the time just before it; my period ROCKS, y'all, i want to shout it from the rooftops).

luckily, during this particular post ovulatory meltdown i'll be on a plane and then unpacking, so no botched projects for me this month.

what about you? does yo pre-flow slow yo roll?

spotted on spring and lafayette

2012-01-21T12:17:00.005-05:00

WHAT FRESH HELL IS THIS.

i kind of love it.

thoughts?

edit: SCORE. a lovely anonymous commenter says this glory is courtesy of the peeps at l'asso nyc, who implore you to "eat the pizza! drink the beer!" ooh i like these people. i hope we get to gorge before we leave. and... THEY SELL T SHIRTS. you can have a different version of tom selleck on this one, and i so totally need this masked avenger. thanks anonymous masked friend!

sopa and pipa can sucka my ▇▇▇▇

2012-01-18T14:00:00.000-05:00

as far as i can tell, should sopa and pipa go live-a, monday's inconsequential sherlock screen cap post would be cause to take this wee blog down, as would be much of what we all post and share to inspire creativity. big deal, i can't put up a post of a cool skirt i saw on sherlock. EXACTLY. BIG DEAL. all that blurb did was nudge a few peeps into adding an awesome new show to their queue.

online piracy sucks, but as ruggy puts it, these bills handle it with a sledgehammer when it needs a laser. and a heavy sledgehammer it is, weighing in at 94 million so far, spent on lobbying.

have a look around-- google, craigslist and wikipedia are all dark today. they explain the reasons why these bills hurt us much better than i can, and on a larger scale than the effect it would have on our little blogs. lady katza and beangirl have great thoughts up as well. please read a bit, and if you agree, sign one of the many petitions, wherever in the world you are, and if you're in the US, call your representative.

edit 1/19: the senate votes on january 24, so there's still time to read up & decide. and if you really want to go down the rabbit hole, big daddy left a whole lotta link love in the comments...

suspicious activity

2012-01-16T10:09:00.000-05:00

are you watching the new bbc sherlock series? it's on netflix instant watch. excellent MLK day activity. though really it doesn't have much to do with the day.

unless you consider knocking off this african print mini skirt a celebratory act? my young nephew celebrates by eating cupcakes and coloring pictures, so i'm pretty sure i've got him beat in this very questionable contest. i like to win, especially over small children.

(ps: a TBP favorite. again, apologies to do the math peeps that may have found their way here. my knowledge of jazz is most certainly suspect, though my admiration for MLK is much greater than this post would lead you to believe. if you care to hang out, we'll sew and drink and swear together.)

our lady of the subway car

2012-01-12T17:38:00.000-05:00

a man shoved irritatedly past me on the A train today, muttering open the doors stupid and barging through to the middle of the crowded car. (i don't give attitude to people who shove past me while muttering to invisible foes.) he got off at the next stop, still muttering, and got right back on again before the doors closed.

oh no y'all can't be in here you got to go. y'all move around too much, i can't get no SLEEP. you don't see me barging into your home and putting my feet up, get your feet down. you call it homeless what do you call this, this car is my home, i got a ten car condo. if i want you out all i got to do is take off my shoes, y'all WILL get out. i moved out cause i couldn't stand my wife. said she wanted a steak i said we'll go get a sandwich and a MILK. said she wanted champagne i said get a cold glass of water we'll drop two alka seltzers in it and call it DOM PERIGNON. she said wait till we get home i'll show you something. she took off her jeans and said her stomach hurt. i said WHICH ONE.

the monologue went on for another three stops (this being the express train). although the comedy stylings were banal, i could appreciate his ability to completely tuck the crazy away and launch into a standup routine.

i like me some me

2012-01-11T17:10:00.000-05:00

i don't actually play xbox. i just have a profile because you get to dress them. I WANT THIS OUTFIT. and one day, they will have my hairdo. yo microsoft, can i get a what what for mixed chicks? recognize!

so, i was thinking the other night during my clickety click down the drunken rabbit hole, how great would it be to use pinterest to organize the things you've made? you could have your dresses, tops, skirts, UFOs, all at your online fingertips, in one beautiful clean space... you could get an idea of what you need to make and what you need to stop making... genius, no? everyone must already be doing this!

then i looked around, and it seems that nope, no sewist is pinning their own creations. it can't be that no one has thought of this yet. or you know, it could be, i am an innovator of the first degree. or maybe i'm just full of myself. which begs the question, is it against pinterest etiquette to pin your own garments? is it totally big headed bratty?

be honest, you never know which mood i'm in, saying it's big headed bratty just might be the swing vote i'm looking for.

but baby, he's two thousand more than you...

2012-01-10T14:55:00.000-05:00

well i'll tell ya. kenny is giving me the glacial shoulder.

occasionally the needle, which has 3 positions, doesn't want to shift when i turn the knob. his screws get loose. so i tinker and turn and curse for a bit and then he snaps back into place. not so today. after taking the hood off and hearing a pop when i messed with the cam housing, i enlisted the magical fixit skillz of ruggy. but kenny's sat obstinate on the table for several hours now.

here's why:

never kid yourself that you can cheat on your man and keep it under wraps. eventually they WILL find out. i found ricky (riccardo is his formal name) in a goodwill store near mother ruggy's. it was our last stop on a whirlwind tour of thrift shops that had only produced sad and beaten shells of machines. i spied a small white suitcase on a high shelf, with a price tag of 50 bucks. that hefty sticker had kept anyone from touching what looked like an overpriced vintage carry on... but i knew what must be inside. shoppers stared curiously at the petite girl struggling with an old empty suitcase, and then swarmed when i revealed its contents. oh riccardo. so debonaire. so accessorized. full set of cams. full set of feet. original owner's manual.

removable bed.

i took him with me that day and had my way with him.

when it came time to return home, i left ricky behind, but i couldn't stop thinking about his smooth cam housing... his super long stitch... i thought i was hiding it, but kenny... kenny KNOWS. he can tell by the way my hand keeps reaching for a slightly larger knob. you may think he's not the jealous type-- after all, he shares a room with that psycho ellie-- but bring another man into the mix and it's kaputz. he won't even eat, his feed dogs are on hunger strike. it doesn't matter that i left ricky in another state. it still happened. to make matters worse, kenny's model 600 has been mocked by ricky's 2600.

size does matter.

i guess i'll have to fiddle with my girl ellie for awhile until we get to california. as natalie portman so rightly observed, nothin like a little lesbo action to get a man interested.

pattern clones

2012-01-08T11:16:00.000-05:00

nothing like a box full of vintage patterns to get your sewing mojo back.

could be the impending move, could be the recent plague, but i haven't been able to sew a STITCH yet this year. fortunately on friday, i received my box of goodies from lisette's amazing duplicate pattern offer, and ruggy said he could see the joy swirling around me as i rifled through.

i want this one in: lace underlined top, crazy taffeta striped bottom. i believe in my soul it will give me boobs.

you know i'm not making this in black. but i do have an estate sale copy of "the bishop method of sewing" in a box somewhere in LA. i've got to pair them up. totally worthy of precious space in my meager two suitcases.

LOOK AT THE NECKLINE OF THIS SHIRT. THAT COLLAR IS THE BOMB DIGGETY.

i thought i had something similar, mais non, these are separates! and this chica. so awesomely ahead of her time with her 3D TV glasses. her white gloves are for safe passage through the bladerunner future she imagines.

love the princess seams down the front! those are princess seams, right? these simplicity envelopes are my favorite. when i get my ass together, i'm going to scan them, and then frame the envelopes for my sewing space. where ever that ends up existing.

(lady number 3 is a replicant, she scoffs at gloves. those skin jobs are hostile, man.)

out of 62 patterns, many of which were actually my size, i decided to start with this one: too small, with a ton too much ease. i've adjusted so much it's a mere shadow of what it was out of the envelope. this could be bad. in the past, i haven't had much luck with "very easy" vintage vogue patterns. and i really want my first one out of the box (literally) to be a win. fingers crossed.

thank you lisette!!! and happy sunday sewing everyone!

administrative interlude

2012-01-06T22:36:00.001-05:00

ruggy's watching the razorbacks. i'm going down a rabbithole of clickety clicks. we're both drinking johnny walker black. (thanks big daddy.)

so, i'm gonna claim my blog on le bloglovin. i don't know why. it's part of the rabbit hole. so here's the jibjab i'm supposed to put in a new post:

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

oh lookit that! the code comes out as a follow me link! no seriously i did NOT know it was going to do that. okay. scroll down and read about more interesting stuff! i gotta go ~~drink~~ clickety click!

and now for something completely normal.

2012-01-06T11:22:00.002-05:00

i realize that many of you come here for the sewing. (some of you come here through do the math. it's confusing, i know. shhhhh.) and yet i bombard you with exorcist christmases and sweaty ballerinas. so i thought i'd share a little tracing tip i came up with the other day. it involves the power of MAGNETS. ooooooooh.

my beloved ikea ironing board is made of metal (or the ikea version of metal), and it's fairly wide. i've traced many small pattern pieces on it using my pin catchers as weights, the magnets inside creating a slight attraction between paper and board. my ah hah! moment came yesterday when i realized removing the middle man (plastic case) would up the force field.

if your ironing board is metal and flat (not too much padding), you're good to go. grab an invisible ruler, tissue paper, flat magnets (you can find these in packs of 10 at any arts & crafts store), and a very fine pen that writes easily without requiring much pressure.

this method is easy when the pattern piece is small, like a facing, but i'll show you how to trace sections that won't fit on your board. have a swig of coffee (or tea, whatever, but by all means put some bailey's in it). repeat. now, align the pattern edge with the edge of the board. let the excess hang off towards you. then align a sheet of tissue paper to the edge. all edges of pattern, tissue and board should meet.

yes, that's better homes and gardens in the background. it was the booby prize when readymade got canceled. i am NOT happy.

place several magnets around your sandwich, enough to keep the pieces in place. one near the grainline is especially nice. mais, not too close to each other as they will flock to their mates! (yeah, DUH, but i did it twice.) the love affair between magnet and metal board will keep your pattern nice and secure. trace away!

(but oona, i hear you cry, what if i break through the paper to the board and mark up my cover? okay, one: that's what washing machines are for, and two: use a light touch, meathooks.)

when you've traced all you can, move each magnet one by one to the edge of the board closest to you, making sure you're not moving your papers. don't slide the magnets. I SAID DON'T SLIDE THEM.

then lean ever so gracefully over and grasp BOTH paper edges delicately, and with an even pressure pull the sandwich away from you. hey! you must pull both paper edges at the same time and equally! go ahead, pull...

until you've reached the point where you can begin tracing again! you can see my turquoise tracing lines match up perfectly. spread your magnets out, and you're ready to start again.

so. did you know this already? was this completely pointless? how do you trace your patterns?

(ps: faye, here's the double agent dress tutorial you were looking for. bonus, it involves way more alcohol!)

late to the party, but i bring booze

2012-01-05T20:52:00.000-05:00

are you sick of resolutions and wrap ups yet? i'm sorry. my past sickness trumps your present sickness.

click "read more" to see 2011's collage of 67 garments (or after the jump, as the kids say...)

in an effort to truly get better from the plague (not the fake better that comes back and bites you in the ass), i made myself stay still. thinglink helped.

many bedridden hours were made enjoyable by y'alls' 2011 wrapups, and now that i have the strength to use a trackpad, i had to join in. that mash up is evidence of the 67 pieces i've made in 2011 (i'm shocked, and not just by the questionable use of print), and if you roll over any pic, you'll get a blurb and a link taking you to the original post about it. my man ruggy marks the start of oona does it! creations.

and now for my two (yes, i'm an overachiever) 2012 sewing resolutions:

1) I'M GOING TO PUT LESS ON MY SEWING PLATE.

i have already broken this resolution. it started well. i scaled back my oona does it! commitment to biweekly (thanks mena!). that's the well part. minutes later, in a haze of plague delirium, i joined the sew weekly challenge community, immediately filling up the new space on my dish with a side of more challenges. breaking this resolution is an ass move for two reasons. a: we're moving to california for who knows how long in under 25 days, and as any move is stressful, i'll need some spare time. luckily there are something like 100 ladies playing, and let's face it, the world won't end if i don't chip in every week. issue solved there. but! and more importantly, b: i feel like an ass. like oona does it! isn't enough, i've gotta throw my hammy mug into the challengers ring too. again, i'm not assuming that what i'll produce will be front page worthy, the ladies are amazing. but really? frigging greedy guts. share your toys.

2) I'M GOING TO BEAT THE HELL OUT OF MY CLOSET.

no backpedaling here. i'm going to lay a smackdown on those contents like i'm rowdy roddy piper. UFC ain't got nothin on the elbow i'll drop on those shelves. first, i'll do a clean out. then, every time i make something i'll actually wear Out Of The House, i'll throw one similar item out on its ear. think i don't mean it? just have a look at those funky picnik stickers up there. blue scissors mean probation, and pink ban means gone baby gone. (pink heart means i love ruggy.) the ousted garment can be rtw or me-made: shoddy work, outgrown, doesn't fit, never worn, wrong color, was i drunk... you get the idea. the plan is to have a closet 70%* full of oona-made things by the end of the year.

*other 30%: jeans, sweaters, outer and under wear, vintage. WHAT. SEVENTY PERCENT IS A PASSING C GRADE.

found

2012-01-03T15:55:00.000-05:00

i wrote this post last friday, and patted myself on the back for having such foresight. all i would have to do is click "publish" on january 1, et voila! new year's post sans drunken spelling! however, i got so sick (unfortunately, not from drinking) that i spent all of sunday and monday in bed, asleep. seriously, i slept about 39 hours in two days. i'm all better now, besides the fog my head is in from linking wordpress, sew weekly and gravatar accounts to each other. i HATE online clutter. anyhoo. here's the story:

as we left the country for the big city, ruggy sensed i was unhappy. (this unhappiness was due to the sore throat that would shortly turn into the Thirty Nine Hour Disease). after completing airport security, he escorted me immediately into the Private Club Bar. lest you get the wrong high fallutin' idea about us, anyone of age can walk into this joint. they have to call it that because it's a dry county. somehow, those magic words make it all okay. we settled in with two shots of knob creek, my pour all the better when i made the bartender aware the shade of lipstick on my glass was not my own.

i almost drank it anyway.

WHY HAVE WE NOT DONE THIS BEFORE. the flight was wonderful. ruggy gave a haaaaayaaayyyy to a startled female passenger snapping a pic of the empty plane (there were six of us onboard) and we were off.

and we had magical seats. we were supposed to be in 5B & C. pre knob creek, i angrily switched us to row 4 when the computer screen showed a possible reclining issue. on board, ruggy walked us to row 5, thinking it was 4, and presented me with the window seat, even though it was not my turn. (cue en vogue chorus here.) when i flipped the tray table down i found this note. i let out a little yelp and beat ruggy's arm. oh, that's nice, babe, he purred.

now, i'm not really one for hang-in-there type phrases, but you wouldn't have guessed it from the way i lovingly patted my note for the rest of the flight. i've never been the recipient of this sort of surprise, and it made me giddy. some stranger purposefully stuck a post it on the inside of a tray table for whomever should sit there next. and i wasn't even supposed to sit there. now i want to leave notes on subway cars and in bathrooms and on small dogs in the park.

but for now i'll leave a note here, to any stranger who's reading, may your new year be bright, in every happy way imaginable.

(my new year starts right now, the first two days of it having been a thobbing blur.)

what did you do new year's eve Eve

2011-12-31T13:15:00.000-05:00

so, you might have noticed last week, i made colette's taffy blouse. and also a self drafted skirt from the scraps of pajama bottoms made for Hot Mama. this ensemble was actually worn in public, to see the billy hart quartet during our kalkatroonaan christmas.

i would've liked to have worn it last night to our new year's tradition of seeing the bad plus at the village vanguard, but in order to get the best seats there, you have to be first in line outside the joint. warmth trumps blouse made of air.

we spent the first set with our friends, at a modest distance from the stage. Dapper Friend had red corduroy pants on, and many of you will be interested to know: the grain ran horizontally rather than vertically. my mind was blown. what was left of the blown bits of my mind were then shredded as our favorite band in the world voraciously ripped into their newest creations.

the neck was pretty wide, and of course not having made a muslin, i just pushed and pulled until i found darts that made me happier.

i had a teacher who talked a lot about the basketball effect: you're watching a game, and a player makes a particularly stunning move, and your body moves with it unintentionally, pushing and pulling an invisible ball. lots of basketball going on last night between the athletes on stage, and in the audience. both parties were also guilty of excessive grinning.

for the second set, we were able to move up front to our favorite table, and during the break ethan copped a squat and we talked about blogs, lawyers, and buffy the vampire slayer. at this point the rest of my mind was phaser blasted to happy dusty particles.

i just serged lots of strips together until i had a tunnel shape that would accomodate le booty. there are six seams altogether. speaking of serging, i finished the arm edges like so. i'm not into the bias tape much.

being that close to the stage is amazing sight and sound wise, which is why i love that particular table, but you're also very aware of being almost a part of the stage. i mean, my foot was resting on the lip. you are actually sitting in the light of the stage at this table. it starts to feel like you're invading something very private, like maybe you're on safari and you don't want to make any sudden movements and disturb the wild life.

again, seeking an alternative to bias tape, i handstitched some trim around the serged neckline.

until i was comfortable enough to steal glances at their faces, i was fascinated by their hands. their hands are insane. ethan's on piano, his fingers sort of do a backbend and then the CGI technicians come in for his solos. reid's on upright bass, his hands meld into the wood like they're made of liquid. dave's on drums, his digits alternately choke and caress sticks, cymbals, brushes, playskool toys and rubber ET dolls. it was so cool to see their hands do their work that close.

my hands have now got to get busy on new year's eve preparations, though my ears are still full of music. have a great night, y'all. drink one for me, i'll certainly drink one for you.

two cool

2011-12-26T13:31:00.002-05:00

burdastyle sent their christmas card out this week, and i was an elf on it! as were drinking buddies don and liza jane.

but what's really cool is: click on the card, and you're whisked to thing link, where each image in the montage has a nifty little rollover button. the button takes you to the specific link. you could, say, upload all the garments you've made this year, linking each shot to your blog / flickr / facebook / burdastyle studio, and have a complete year end card. i haven't looked too far into it, so i'm not sure how many images you can put in a card, but i'm sure some industrious soul will contemplate this over a post holiday relaxing irish coffee.

or you might rather contemplate a thrifty shopping cart. in that case, shabby apple just sent a sale link out for my peeps! thanks shabby :) just click here for twenty percent off sale items and free shiparoo, and enter code WINTERSALE.

i'd get this stripey number, if you can't already tell where my tastes lean...

hope you're having a moment to relax before the next holiday craze!

merry merry wish

2011-12-25T10:06:00.002-05:00

may your house be warm and your coffee be spiked.

face it.

2011-12-24T12:21:00.000-05:00

my facing is flipped over.

the latest oona does it! is up over at the sew weekly. i really enjoyed this particular challenge, you can read all about the details in the column. the inspiration for it was difficult but fun, and once i figured out the way to go i was absurdly pleased with myself at the outcome. chuffed, one might say. mais, the camera does not lie.

my frigging facing is flipped over.

you're going to see this dress again in a month or so, when i change the length from maxi to T and pair it with a blazer. i'm pretty excited about that.

perhaps at that point i will have fixed the GODDAM FACING.

(this is me contemplating the fact that my facing is flipped over.)

evil dead christmas

2011-12-19T23:55:00.001-05:00

our holidays started december first, when we visited our much missed hollow legged amigos in their new abode. full of unstoppable christmas cheer, we decided to try a seasonal lights hayride. we brought The Child. at the very beginning, one excited patron stood up to take a picture. SIT DOWN NOW, the head farmhand blared. Hot Mama and i muttered merry friggin christmas to each other, and we were off.

the first stop was santa's workshop, where elves who obviously pulled double duty for halloween hayrides stuck sharp objects into mysterious boxes.

this one needed no weapon. just rocked gleefully up and down, hands poised for choking.

they parked us in santa's lair for a good five minutes. i think their goal was to scare us into submission. it worked: even though head farmhand disappeared some time during the workshop layover, no one dared to get up again.

the ride continued.

that unoccupied swing by the obviously haunted mansion swung slowly back and forth of its own volition. listen, ruggy breathed, you can hear it creaking. indeed you could, loud and clear over the christmas tunes blaring on the cart we were all prisoners on.

killer clown racing across the steaming fields.

WHAT THE HELL IS IN THAT GIANT GINGERBREAD HOUSE.

nothing says christmas like the holiday classic "proud to be an american". complete with lighted flag. the withered hands appeared somewhere around the last verse.

on the left: unsuspecting fools. on the right: freedom.

we left scarred for life. The Child left asleep.

hubba husband

2011-12-15T12:55:00.000-05:00

i made ruggy a shirt.

this is not the shirt.

but we were all dolled up for a night out on the town with parental kalkatroonans and i had to get a picture. (and i did make my shirt.) it was a wonderful boozy jazzy night, surrounded by the lights of the city and the billy hart quartet (the man has a syncopated metronome implanted in his brain, and dizzy's needs to get on this tip. ethan iverson explains it much better. MORE OF THIS PLEASE DIZZY'S.) would that i had grabbed a shot of the four of us: kalkatroona dad donned a green plaid shirt with yellow accents, a gray sportscoat, and a silver and black tie. in case you're wondering where i get my pattern matching skillz from.

luckily the shot passes muster with ruggy, because there's no way i'm going through the negroni photos again for an extra oona does it! wrap up here. no, this is just to let you know there's some man candy going on over at my column on the sew weekly.... ruggy takes center stage.

whoah (!)

2011-12-09T16:09:00.000-05:00

do you ever talk like a newsie? i find myself doing it all the time, honestly. well, a cross between a newsie and jean arthur. i actually said yowza the other night when i spilled my wine, and let out a rather audible whoah! when i saw my double agent dress on burdastyle and realized it was not my studio page, it was the front page....

which reminded me, i have yet to show you my contribution to the burdastyle book!

back in aught 10, when we walked uphill in the snow to school both ways, i was asked to hand in some sketches for alison's blouse and skirt patterns, along with fabric choices, and burdastyle would pick the one they liked best. would you like to see them? really? that's so nice of you to take an interest in me.

i'll even leave my dorky captions in there.

one skirt variation, and four blouses. can you tell i was hoping to get a blouse variation? the maxi insanity was my favorite, but i'm glad they didn't choose it because at the time, i had no idea how to do buttonholes. or work with the slippery fabric i'd chosen for it. (hey, the skirt reminds me of a kazz creation! though hers is way more cool.)

they went with the stretchy brooklyn-y i'm going to the gym but really i'm just gonna walk around and look cool vibe. i forgot to color in the sleeves on one side, and my photoshop and mac are no longer friends, so blemished it stays.

the fabric was really the prettiest jersey i'd ever laid hands on, from britex fabrics (you can see the work in progress post here). i cut it like i was performing open heart surgery. and i saved every little scrap of it, eventually morphing it into my green green dress.

it ended up on page 138 in the book, as a dress variation... mais non, it was based on this:

i abandoned the hood when i realized the model would look like a wood elf. now i wish i had done it. maybe i'll throw one in there.

it's like a size negative zero, my thought being it had to fit a model and not a curvy kalkatroonan. so. there's no way i'm putting it on right now, as my head is sufficiently swelled and i don't feel like deflating at this moment (double thanks from ruggy, burdastyle! i am impossible to deal with at the moment!). maybe i'll try it on after the holidays. you know, after the weight gain and the crushing depression of january. it is stretch jersey, so i might get away with it.

okay. that's enough bragging for today.

who am i kidding. i'm off to make a taffy blouse and then see two thirds of the bad plus in concert. i rule the world. WHAT AN EXCEPTIONALLY BRATTY POST! i outdo myself, i truly do.

so, what'ch'y'all up to?

you dress like a tourist

2011-12-07T23:49:00.000-05:00

no for real, you do. if you dress up, that is.

i decided the best way to wrap up my oona does it!s on le blog would be to talk about where i wear them. that way i might actually wear them somewhere, as opposed to my current abysmal average.

so! i wore my goldschlagger dress out to a birthday dinner with Holy Cow She's So Freaking Brilliant Friend and her husband, I Can't Believe You Cooked That Awesome Shit Chef. (they were our thanksgiving guests. we had a LOT to be thankful for.)

Brilliant Chica's birthday falling frequently on or about thanksgiving seems to have meant little to no birthday plans in the past. as you know, in kalkatroona, this will not do. i coaxed her into my campbell apartment dress (which fit Her Hotness like a glove), we raided the vintage jewelry stash, dressed the boys up as much as we could, and headed to one of our favorite french restaurants.

as we strolled down the avenue, i imagined us singlehandedly (well, double handedly. quadruply? there were two of us) bringing back the age of style. something like mad men, but without mad men acting like asses. just very sane men like ruggy and Mad Chef bringing gallantry back. they've already got sexy, in spades.

we got stares. from several drag queens. do you know what it takes to get noticed by a new york city drag queen?

i mean, my dress was faced in faux lavender leather. (yeah, that's understitching, yo. i got skillz.)

check the orange and gold zipper. and what UP matching gold shoes?!

she in teal lace, and i in sparkly gold? truly we were the epitome of class, and should have been treated as such.

mais, non. we arrived at the restaurant and were seated by the kitchen. birthday girl's entree was a total hackjob, which had to be sent back. after our waiter, some new upselling species of shark, gave birthday girl the third degree on what was wrong with her moules frites, i decided i truly did not like him. i lost all betty draper composure and barked GOAT CHEESE TART at him when he returned for the new order. twice, as he tried to upsell Brilliant Chica to the special. i did not want him talking to Brilliant Chica any longer. he had lost that privilege.

eventually the owner, whom ruggy & i know and very much enjoy, came over and made everything nice again. shark attack was all smiles after that.

i would have liked to bash his teeth in.

were we too dressed? did shark attack take us for rubes? as i glanced at our surroundings, i saw peeps dressed in tattered jeans and t shirts, bags of black friday loot by their feet, looking at us like we were a little loco. when did these tables turn?

oh yeah by the way, this is simplicity's project runway line, numero 2444, and holy cow do i love this line. this pattern has pockets, always a plus, and was hella fun to sew and wear. the home deco fabric i scored at joann's is the highly flammable bomb to work with. but maybe better suited for drapes. it itches like a motha. i did the sleeves, mainly because i wanted to prove to myself i could do sleeves (i can't, those poofy pleats are totally born of me shrugging my shoulders and forcing the caps to fit), but now i think i might hack them off. i feel a little too girly in it.

it's hard to kick a shark's ass when you're all girly. next time, all sharks in the vicinity will see my guns.

but they will be gussied up guns, dammit. GUSSIED. UP.

nothing says christmas like 36 inches of steel

2011-12-03T10:18:00.000-05:00

ruggy learned fairly early on in our relationship that i adore, with the passion of a pit bull, all aspects of the gift experience, which frightened him a little bit. i learned he called them prizes, which thrilled me to no end. our first christmas together occurred two months after we met. i bought him 18 prizes, including black silk pajamas and a samurai sword.

i have no idea why i thought he would want a samurai sword.

but i felt christmas would be ruined if i did not buy it.

we're surrounded by some of our dearest friends in the known and unknown universe, celebrating a birthday and starting christmas off very right. i've been paging through the holiday issue of real simple, our friends' adorable baby (Child The Second, to be exact) in lap and drink of the moment in the other fist. drink of the moment is ever changing and completely up to the whim of Hollow Leg Birthday Dad. over a peach bellini, i read letters describing the best present you've ever given someone. i thought that was interesting; i'll frequently ask what's the best you've received but not the other way round.

i'm not sure what that says about me.

but i do love to give, even when it's a borrowed minivan full of prizes having nothing to do with the intended recipient. (really, i'm shocked ruggy didn't wash his hands of the whole situation that first christmas. samurai sword? appropo of nothing? psycho. thank god i met him six days after his birthday.) but i don't think i've ever given a best gift. thoughtful, yes, storebought or handmade, but nothing like these folks have done. dog dna tests, a single singular chocolate from childhood, a recorded set of recipes for an elderly relative. i couldn't think of anything i'd done that fit the bill. and because i like to win, now i really have to give the best prizes i've ever given this season.

dammit.

what's the greatest prize you've ever given?

on why i am a (very bad) ass

2011-11-29T11:59:00.000-05:00

would you look at this loot of loveliness from the luscious lexi (who just happens to have a fantastic blog you should be reading. can't you tell from the taste level of this bounty? go on, click that link). i won her giveaway for six sanjou eiffel tower thread cards (that's right, i gave you another link, CLICK IT) and she felt the package was too small. so she threw all of this in.

do you see that belt buckle? those buttons that i'm loathe to separate from their perfect card? le bombshell vixen avec personalized music mix to swoon for?

KITTEN TOE SEPARATORS?!

this is why i suck at giveaways. this is why my pay it forwards are still quite backwards. i WANT to fill up packages like this. i just don't have the enthusiasm required for trekking around the city and finding the fantastic goodies to put into the package. and i wouldn't call myself the crafty type anymore, so it's not like i can fill a box with wee handmade gifties. i'm more into making full out party dresses that hang sadly in my closet, waiting for their dance card to fill up.

for debi's sew grateful challenge, i had planned on finishing up those pay it forwards, sending out boxes of cheer, being the bad ass i so frequently insist i am. so i'm making a public list right here of what i owe. to guilt me into it. will it work? it took me eight months to write the promised double agent dress tutorial, you tell me.

one nursing cover

two pattern tracings

three swappy prizes

four shots of vodka (that's for me)

five pay it for-waaaaaaaaarrrrdsssssss!

(badumdumdum)

and the winner is....

2011-11-28T09:45:00.001-05:00

you know what i want? a little widget that looks like a lotto machine, you know, the kind with the tennis balls and the air, i guess it would be a gif, but i could be mixing that up with peanut butter.

i tallied up the entries and threw them in the random generator:

then counted down to.... coppertop doll!!! who said, "WANT! i liked shabby apple. and i follow you, obvi."

you guys. check out her icon. she's a redhead. this is gonna be a KNOCKOUT on her.

thank you all for playing along, i loved reading all your comments and meeting new peeps. i hope to bring you more goodies in the future (lexi, i'll work on that plane ticket. i already haz the tequila.) miss coppertop, please email me your info and i'll get you in touch with the lovely dress ladies at shabby apple, who i thank for letting me be santa. being santa is FUN.

happy monday!

iwannahula

2011-11-26T10:00:00.001-05:00

hello debi's sew grateful! hello lisette's vintage pattern!

for miss fry's stupendous sew grateful challenge, i've chosen a pattern snagged during our NY meetup extravaganza. i couldn't think of a better fit for this challenge than using something from that big old christmas present of a day. the fantastic pattern swap portion happened per lisette's suggestion, and to boot, this pattern is from the glowing lisette's very own heeooooouge giveaway stash. it's simplicity 8699, yonder auburn maned lady.

(most of the swap passed me by. as we were starting, i ran into an old friend, and we gabbed through the whole shebang. actually, we talked sewing. he's a sound engineer, and a big lovely cheerleader for me. he always makes me feel like i really know how to sew, because he takes such an interest in what i make. but i digress.)

as Head Cheerleader made me feel like a million bucks, swapping went merrily on. ah well, i thought, i didn't bring any goodies, so i shouldn't take any anyway. but no. SOMEONE LEFT THIS GEM UP FOR GRABS. for the sheer brilliance of prints on the envelope model alone, i was in. lisette was so happy i saw all aspects of its glory. this envelope is so pretty, i may frame it.

oh my god i'm so going to frame it.

the fabric is also from the meetup day, another example of me setting a rule for myself then immediately and brattily breaking it. as the only host living in the meetup city, with regular access to the stores, i'd decided i would keep my bags empty. i filled it with this at the very first stop.

man that day was a blast. and now the pounds of fabric purchased seem annointed in magical waters. it must be residual good juju of all those lovely ladies, i haven't had a fail with a single piece of it. well, yes, there's the purple box, but that just needs some more seams. and of course this poof of a skirt might be a fail in someone else's eyes.

there's truly no accounting for taste.

could anything go better with this asian influenced print than my heart enclosed elvis t shirt? methinks no.

to my delight, i found i had the perfect coordinating zip in my stash. fat purple plastic. sewing life is so much easier when you're not worried about matching the zip.

attaching the leather waistband was pretty easy, though the insane amounts of gathered fabric make the seam a little thick. i left my universal 12 needle in and let kenny have at, stitching leather side down with a long stitch. (stitching leather is easy, yo, read more about it here if you're game.) it's like wearing a belt without the added step of choosing a belt-- a process that can prove time consuming and room wrecking for me, as belts fly everywhere in an ever down-to-the-wire attempt to get out the door on time.

i think you can see it's a pretty simple pattern, but i loved using it, especially since it reminded me of the day and all beautiful peeps involved. plus, once you've been sewing awhile it's nice to go back to rectangles and once piece waistbands and realize how much easier that rocket science is now. do you have simple patterns you return to and marvel at your own prowess? if you don't, get you some. marveling at your own prowess is good for you.

debi, i marvel at YOU, you lovely huge hearted vintage slip of a whiskey drinkin gal! please make it an annual event. next year, i'll be prepared with tutorials and giveaways of my own to spread the sew grateful spirit. (ooh! hello segueway! this year you still have time to enter my shabby apple giveaway, which ends basically when i wake up monday morning and throw everybody's chances into one of them random generator jobs. get your dress yo!)

facial relation

2011-11-24T00:44:00.001-05:00

when i read the cries for muppet pinup in the last post, i did many little dances, knowing the column was already saved and waiting to go live. i will do my OCD thing shortly and respond to Each And Every Comment from the ODI wrapup, but right now i'm too proud of these pictures not to have them on my blog. and since i am a brat i get what i want. they're over at the sew weekly as well, avec story, but i think i'm going to start putting those installments up here too, with a different story and different pictures.

since i am still on a sugar high from two straight days of cordon bleu cooking, coherency is going to be an issue, so please forgive the rocky start.

this is a far cry from the headless pictures i'd post when i first started le blog. i never thought i'd throw my face on here, much less 70% of my body fabric-less.

ruggy: those pictures are great, babe! did you photoshop them?

i think y'all know the answer to that question. i think you also know how foolhardy the man was to ask that question.

i actually used picnik (the free version) and a whole lot of iphoto tricks to create the pinup look. photoshop would have been my first choice, but apple's OS X is being a pain is the ass and not playing with older versions. get with the program, apple.

for those of you who haven't read the original post, the challenge: do a pin up girl as a muppet. thrown down by mena trott. i chose animal, with a second or two of thought given to ralph the piano playing dog. musical muppets seem to be my favorite.

speaking of music, we had the great good fortune to hear ethan iverson of the bad plus play with a new trio this thanksgiving eve, do the math. BEST THANKSGIVING EVE EVER. tiny little jazz club, appropriately named smalls, and my favorite in the city, with mismatched chairs, blissed out bartenders, and mirrors hanging everywhere. at one point in the set, ethan lightly touched the keys in simple, soft, but completely otherworldly combinations, corcoran drew a long bow across his bass, and that was it. a slow collective intake of breath made the club sound like a yoga practice as everyone relaxed into a gorgeous blanket of sound. it was like walking in a forest where you knew you were about to stroll headfirst into your true love.

que waxing. allow me to try to wrap this post up: at the end of the set, we walked over to shake hands and say thank you as always-- at this point we are obvious and recognizable groupies and are greeted near the territory of friends, which always makes me want to fall off my chair-- when ethan said, "oh hey, i know you. you're oonaballoona. you're all about fashion. i've got you figured out."

for that moment alone, face on the blog was a good call.

(ps: you still have three days to win a small package of your own... get le shabby apple dress, go throw your hat in the ring!)

so far...

2011-11-22T09:39:00.001-05:00

permit me to be wistful for a moment, won't you? i haz my suitably tranquil and reflective gaze on.

i've been enjoying debi's stroll down memory lane so much, i thought i'd look back on my oona does it! feature over at le sew weekly. here is all the shite i've made so far. i'm sorry, shite is not wistful enough. creations.

out of 21 creations, 10 have been worn in public, 6 are waiting for the right opportunity/season, 3 are on probation, and 5 have been scrapped completely (that holey black job in the fourth row being high on the THIS BLOWS SET FIRE TO THIS NOW list. there, i've gone and lost my tranquility again. damn black.)

that math doesn't add up. could be the irish coffee.

if you don't know about this feature (and you might not, i usually just post a shout out that it's up), i make something based on a challenge throw down by peeps in the blogoshpere. some of them have included snakeskin, peacock feathers, carny rides, and 6 foot long zippers. after almost six months of ODI, i have to say my favorite part of this venture is getting a challenge from a blogger, whether it's one i know, always wanted to meet, or brand new to. while i'm hacking away on a piece i'll think about their style, their sense of humor, the town they live in, their favorite drink... it's like i'm sewing with an invisible friend.

that sounds sad. not in a boo hoo way, more in a "bless your heart" way. more in a "high school loser" way. a category i was firmly ensconced in: very VERY busy but with little to no social life. don't get me wrong, i loved it. i rocked the shit out of high school. but it's nice to grow up and have friends, tangible and virtual both.

so, on debi's thanksgiving week of sew grateful, i'd like to say thank you to to mena for thinking it up, and thank you to everyone who's challenged me so far. thanks, invisible friends. i look forward to sewing with you today.

seasonal pattern weights

2011-11-20T23:39:00.001-05:00

i'm blowing your mind right now. i know.

you need jesus

2011-11-20T09:36:00.000-05:00

but more importantly, you need thread.

(devorah sperber, after the last supper)

hey thanks karen that was GREAT.

2011-11-17T10:16:00.001-05:00

miss didyoumakethat asked if anyone has had any sewing stress related dreams. and then listed all the other normal stress related dreams she's had. of which i had had none. since i like to win in EVERYTHING, my brain decided to put me and ruggy in a rental car all night long while monstrous universe sized tidal waves engulfed mountain passes, valleys, living rooms, you know, wherever we happened to be on our wild trip. and each time i'd see the wave coming i'd know, ALL OVER AGAIN, with abject horror, in a moment we would not be able to breathe. eventually america was the only joint left above water (perhaps having something to do with my u.s. specific shabby apple giveaway? yeah, i threw that in there. don't hate the playa. hate the game). but we knew the waters were coming, because, you know, it was the end of the world. and oh did i mention pentatonix's rendition of "video killed the radio star" was screaming through my head all the while?

they are jaw droppingly talented. we're catching up. only on episode 5. don't tell me what happens, or i will come to your house and hide under your bed and give you nightmares (karen's already on the list. even though she likes my ass. juliet liked it first though. hey, thanks for the ass love y'all! my eyes might be sleepy, but my booty feels fantastic.)

THE DOUBLE AGENT DRESS TUTORIAL

2011-11-15T18:18:00.001-05:00

that's right, bitches.

gather:

about 3 yards of four way stretch jersey, 60 width (you can get away with 2 way if you're careful)

polyester thread

ball point needle & pins

tissue paper
ruler & measuring tape

some good tequila

measure: (my measurements in parenthesis for example)

armhole, just loop your tape loosely from top shoulder, under arm and back to top shoulder (16)

waist (28)

bust at widest point (34)

hip at widest point (38)

dress length: from lower point of underarm to wherever. knee. ankle. thigh (slut). (28)

calculate:

A: armhole divided by 2 = __ (8)

B: waist measurement divided by 4 = __ (7)

C: bust measurement divided by 4 = __ (8.5)

D: hip measurement divided by 4 = __ (9.5)

E: length stays the same = __ (28)

that's a lot of math for me. at this point, i suggest you get your tequila out and have a good swig. DON'T SHOOT IT, GODSAKES THAT'S QUALITY TEQUILA. done sipping? let's make the pattern pieces.

using your new figures, make your top and bottom pattern pieces:

TOP: one rectangle, on the fold, measuring E by B (28 x 7)

BOTTOM: one rectangle, on the fold, measuring E by D (28 x 9.5)

these are SO not to scale. i drew them about forty times and finally gave up.

now make your BUST piece: draw a straight line equaling A (for me, 8 inches long). this is your center fold. now draw a line equaling D for the bottom edge, and a line for the upper edge equaling B. at the midpoint of A, measure across equaling C. it should look like this:

now connect those dots by drawing in a nice little curve on the open edge. this is where your arm will go.

you now have all three of your pattern pieces!

add your seam allowance all along the edges of all pattern pieces, except on the fold. unless of course you're a hoochie mama and you want it tight, then forget the extra room. you may also want to make it in hot pink spandex. or dizzying stripes. no judgement here.

you'll need to cut each piece out, on the fold, twice.

sew bottom edge of BUST piece to upper edge of BOTTOM piece. sew upper edge of BUST piece to lower edge of TOP piece. it will look like this:

you now have one half of the dress. do the same for the remaining pieces. join front and back at side seams, matching bust piece seams, remembering to keep that nice little curve you created for your armhole open on the BUST piece. duh, who would sew it all the way up without armholes.

now dance around in front of the mirror while you shimmy in and out of its myriad looks. try it upside down to start off with. at this point, you should have had enough tequila to come up with some interesting combos...

some other thoughts:

don't have a serger? you should be able to zigzag the seam with great results. make sure your seam allowance is wide enough so that the zig zag is at least 1/4 of an inch away from the seam edge. this will help keep it from bubbling. don't have a zig zag setting? stretch your jersey at both ends while sewing with a looooong stitch. but really, straight stitch sally, get a zig zag.

if you cut carefully, you can leave your edges raw, as stretch jersey doesn't fray-- just look at anything made by american apparel.

always use the right machine needle! ball point, jersey, or, in trampy spandex land, stretch. and 100% poly thread is your friend. your very good curve loving friend.

my biggest difference in measurement is ten inches. i have no idea if this will work with a wider differential. again, get your tequila out, and try it. the worst that could happen is you'll end up with a cool cowl scarf and a nice buzz.

lemme know if you do it, and above all, please tell me what you chose to imbibe whilst doing. priorities.

(ps: feeling too lazy to sew? slacker. enter my shabby apple giveaway to win a candy cane dress!)

candy cane cutie: a present for you CLOSED!

2011-11-15T08:55:00.001-05:00

want a dress?

shabby apple, online candy store of women's dresses, asked me to pick a wee treat from their cruise-slash-holiday-getaway line to giveaway to YOU! (that is, ~~you living in north america~~ EDIT: you living in the US of A. sorry canada and world. hopefully shabby apple will rule the international waters soon.) i'm so not into cruises. something abut falling into water and not being able to breathe. but i do like me some holidays. so i chose the bacciami dress because it looks like a candy cane.

mmmmm candy canes.

i'd wear this with green suede pumps and call it a christmas party.

to enter, comment on this post, and holler at me that you've done these things:

1) "like" shabby apple on their facebook fan page

2) for a second chance, follow me, or let me know how you follow me if you already do.

you must complete numero uno to enter! following me is optional, but gets you a second entry. and it makes me feel popular.

seeing as how i still owe five pay it forwards and one tutorial, i'm psyched to host a giveaway where it's on someone else to cough it up. really, i do love to give things. i just have trouble with the minutia of it. i'm fairly certain shabby apple will be more timely than me. giveaway will close november 28, which coincides nicely with debi's sew grateful challenge (more on that, and how it will save my slacking ass later...)

ho ho ho!

jimmy crack corn

2011-11-14T15:40:00.001-05:00

i have to go to the gym. i truly do have to go to the gym. i haven't been to the gym in 4 weeks. that sounds better than one month. while my insides gurgle and scream for me to take them to the gym, i thought i'd give you a peek of this week's oona does it!, which is up over at the sew weekly. i'm pretty proud of it. and pretty sure i won't be able to fit back into it if i don't get myself to the gym.

gymgymgymgymgymgymgym

booty shakin earth quakin

2011-11-13T09:48:00.001-05:00

oona: i wanted to make a boxy dress, like a piece of art.

ruggy: you succeeded.

but doesn't everyone like to add ten extra inches of width to their side view?

two canceled flights, three earthquakes, one missed burdastyle book launch party, countless missed blogger meetups, and two bad airport sandwiches later, i now see the err of my ways on this dress. photo credit goes to mama ruggy, who loved the dress, and accessory credit goes to sis-in-law, whose birthday gifted moma necklace is the saving grace of this outfit. i love this necklace so much, apparently i felt the need to create a dress that would flatter it over me.

i used burdastyle member pixielink's free batwing top for my trickery. please don't let my results stop you from downloading it right this minute. this purple doubleknit jersey was destined for two parties, but made it only to a museum opening. it missed the book launch. (see: canceled flights. have you seen the photos from that shindig? i gnash my teeth in jealousy.)

lumpy booty is also an important design feature.

i was going to ask your opinions on this ~~dress~~ sack, but after 20 minutes of cropping these photos i have my answer. if you have to ask, does this look good on me? you KNOW the answer. you just don't WANT to know the answer. this dress requires sergery. i'm not misspelling that, it has a date with my red threaded ellie. the red headed stepchild of my sewing menagerie. i could go all day.

i might still be jetlagged.

for angie a

2011-11-03T16:18:00.004-04:00

snake bite juice (oona's knock you down margarita recipe)

2 parts tequila (herradura or cabo wabo. not patron. definitely not cuervo.)
1 part cointreau
1 part grand marnier
juice of 1/2 lime
shake and pour over ice in a salt rimmed glass. serve with the snake tamer of your choosing.

sunday prayer

2011-10-30T17:56:00.001-04:00

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY RUGGY YOU GORGEOUS HUNK OF MAN.

(please god let the steelers beat the bejesus out of the patriots.)

mwah

2011-10-26T09:48:00.000-04:00

please excuse the laundry in the background. for ruggy's birthday week, i did his laundry. he had five loads.

stacie over at the beautiful blog stars for streetlights contacted me a few weeks ago with a little challenge: make something wearable out of a scarf from her shiny new workplace, affordable scarves. i love scarves, i have a collection of about thirty, so i happily welcomed a new addition. out of all the silk and cotton offerings to be had, i picked this poly blend. it could not be helped. it measures 74 x 40. basically it's yardage with finished seams. but my brain was locked into the fact that IT'S A SCARF. refashion blockage ensued. i stared at it on a hanger for a week before pummeling my brain into submission. BRAIN, i said. REMEMBER THIS SHIRT? THIS WOULD BE THE PERFECT TIME TO DO THAT TUTORIAL.

(oona, said brain, i'll get up off my ass for that. god knows you promise tutorials and never let me seal the deal. let's not even TALK about pay it forward. have you instructed hands to pack those boxes up yet?)

whatever, brain.

take your scarf and fold it in half lengthwise, finding the mid point. slice it right down the middle, finish your new raw edges, and sew it together again about 2/3 of the way up. this is now your center back seam. i sewed it up to where the black border hits. YOU ARE NOW DONE SEWING.

see those flaps hanging down in the second picture? they basically become your back facing! flip that jammy to your backside, center seam at center back, the open part of the seam facing up. grasp the upper ends of your scarf....

and pull them towards center front. wrap the ends around the back of your neck and tie-- i like to use a pretty pin from my vintage collection instead of a knot, but either way works.

then grab the scarf at waist, or just below bust, or wherever floats your boat, cinch it together, and stitch through all layers a couple times. if you make it loose enough, you can untie the neck and easily slip this over your head, as the back sits low.

(yeah, i know i said you're done sewing. i lied a little bit. you can use another pretty pin here and make me an honest woman. a button loop closure would also be grand. doesn't help the lying, but earns you extra fanciness points.)

the amount of back displayed depends on how high (or low) you sew up the center back seam.

i kind of feel like that chick on project runway that's been sewing for four months and always floats around in gauzy me made things. it's a great easy cover up for the summer, non? you can go from picnic at the beach to lobster dinner by the water!

hmm. now that i'm writing this up, i'm thinking i may get brain to come up with a nice button loop closure for the front. but brain is notoriously lazy. we'll see.

saturdays are for electrocuting yourself

2011-10-22T16:35:00.000-04:00

when you have six square feet of space to sew in, maneuvering is necessary. things get tangled.

foot pedals that live next to each other get tangled as well, especially under the user's hasty foot.

kenny's power. ellie's power cord. for a solid ten seconds of i wonder why ellie's needle isn't moving?

luckily, some dumb ass left kenny's presser foot up.

saturday sewing is so relaxing.

l lika de lace

2011-10-20T17:18:00.002-04:00

when you are a complete doofus with your ISO settings: picnik's logo-ish feature to the rescue.

this little vintage number was part of the surprise ending that meg, debi, mena and i trotted drunkenly off to at the end of the big NY meetup. the very stiff lace is underlined in a turquoise/teal linen from baltimore's own gus woolens. (oh, baltimore.) and the bodice is lined in teal silk. cause i really hate matching.

thaaaaat's RIGHT. lace, linen, and silk. smell me.

i got all crafty and used the scalloped edge as my hemline, and really planned it out so the sides would match perfectly. they did. until i had to take it in two inches at the seams and totally fukat'ed it. so i sliced off scallops till it matched. i may have mentioned this to gertie in our sewing class. it was one of the many times i earned a raised eyebrow. her eyebrows are fabulous.

hey booooootaaaay! i wish i would have ironed the vent. ah well. the back didn't originally scoop down this far. i dove about 3 inches deeper than the pattern (mccalls, 7827). this made the straps fly out, so i threw some darts in there, you can see them if you look quite closely...

don't squint, you'll hurt your eyes! here you go. i'll tell you what, when the darts worked, you would've thought i'd just seen my face on the cover of vogue . i was all I ROCK MY WORLD. i even had an invisible zip in the stash that matched perfectly. (black is another story. i had to make a special trip downtown to get a black zip. i might have a problem.)

the palette for the evening was teal and red, and my partners in crime pulled it off beautifully for a special edition of oona does it! (see their fabulousness here). i had a thin burgundy belt, and meant to wear these plaid shoes (debi drooled a little), but after our day on the town the height was staggering...

oh, do you like them? i got them at daffy's. for five dollars.

suck it, beangirl.

BLACK ATTACK

2011-10-11T10:36:00.001-04:00

i'm working on the black dress. i have to look at some colorful prints before i lose my mind completely.

some peeps have asked me to do a little how-to on pattern matching. (some peeps have offered to have me checked for colorblind-ness. ruggy insists i am afflicted. i'm going with peeps the former.)

the easiest way to make an interracial marriage, if you will, between fabrics, is to pick a common thread. in all of these pairings, there's a color in each separate fabric that connects.

chocolate brown in this dress...

deep magenta in this skirt (with complementary-toned lime green un-ironed RTW and tequila)...

burnt goldenrod in top and waistband...

when pairing three together, i'll pick my common color between two, then pick up a third between any two of the fabrics. in this two hour dress, orange lives in the main fabric and trim, then the purple in the trim connects the lace.

go for four! red in trim + red in print + ivory in lace + ivory in print + purple in trim + purple in main = this maxi dress. (see the first trim poking out underneath? you'll see it in the original post. although the purple shade was closer to the main fabric, the blue was throwing it off. somehow the lavender in the "beaded" trim was happier-- an analogous pairing.)

blue lace + blue flowers + blue sky = happy oona.

and sometimes i'll just pull a print i love, and slowly run it down my stack of stash until i hit a fabric it wants to live with. complementary and analogous colors work wonders there. here's a great link with color wheels to get you spinning!

and please, do tell if you take the leap so that i might live vicariously. i'll be living primarily in black till sunday. i've heard tell, black goes with everything.

i need a how-to on making it go with ME.

what makes you feel beautiful?

2011-10-05T17:23:00.001-04:00

(cupcakes don't actually make me feel beautiful, this is so not a post about body image in terms of food. i just think these are pretty; and they were made by a mom-to-be, with homemade candy toppers made by her own mom, who carried the flower sweets on a plane across the country. that's beautiful.)

i just spent the afternoon with bride-to-be on our third day of dress searching. she was already decided, although not thrilled, and we were on our way to the tailor (or seamstress, i do not know which), when we stopped off for a veil. i pulled two dresses for her to try on, just because. and got that shivery feeling when she stepped out in number two. she had it too, in spades. that whole silly yes-to-the-dress feeling. it's real! i think it comes from looking at another woman feeling absolutely gorgeous. looking at any human being feeling beautiful, what a wonderful thing to share.

and now i'm on my way to ballet class at my local gym. it's completely un-pretentious, a 180 from the classes i took in college, and i feel beautiful when i look in the mirror. just the grace of the poses and the calm that the teacher implores us to keep on our faces. it's not about fixating on weight, and i don't think for a second about my ill-fitting jeans. and i look around the room and see the regulars and complete strangers that come and smile at each other and share that feeling, and everyone leaves walking like queens and kings and princesses.

what makes you feel beautiful?

ny meetup

2011-10-03T14:15:00.000-04:00

we began the day as any good day should begin, with carafes of sangria and festive flowers to frolick with. el centro played host to lunch, and they were fabulous (picture by our man jonathan, standing on top of table). from bottom left corner to bottom right, we have: vicki, daughter fish, cindy, mena, moi, debi, meg, lisette, and nettie. it was a school day, so many rsvps sadly did get tied up at work... don't worry, we drank extra sangria for you!

the extremely confusing sew weekly theme (MY BAD) lead to floral frocks and technicolor hues. oh so much pattern. i was in heaven. i wanted to put these gals in my bag. the details on the neckline of cindy's dress! miss fish's silk poppies! mena's... erm... staples!

que beautiful, no? like they have their own inner miniature sun.

we snagged marina on the tail end of lunch, and per lisette's idea, we had a pattern swap, with the impromptu locale of worldwide plaza's cement park. marina was a BIG contributor. puu joined in and brought a hefty bag of envelopes as well (her red cigarette pants were also an object of desire)...

(photo by debi-- her absolutely musical giggle lit up the day. girl, did you snag any? vintage goddess, i don't even KNOW!) i ran into an old friend and completely missed the swap... fitting, as i forgot and brought nothing to the party. yet i still managed to walk away with these beauties. BRAT.

(the notions are from SIL threads, another stop along the way. i was challenged several times for ODIs and was therefore forced to shop. some of the challenges are malicious. i'm not naming any names mena.)

bags bulging with pattern goodness, we then headed to paron fabrics, my favorite, where peter joined up. i decided i should abstain from fabric purchases as i'd have my hands full co-hosting... and then bought 12 yards of fabric at the very first stop.

check out marina and nettie. put them together: effortless chic.

speaking of chic, at our second stop, chic fabrics, the sangria caught up. miss fish had to jet in order to Sew For Other Peeps (the horror). i discovered nettie and i have the same affinity for swearing (brilliant!). marina raised her eyebrows at several questionable fabrics. it quickly became clear we needed caffeine. my first clue was finding mena laying on the bolts of fabric in the back. i believe cindy saw her flailing, then spied the hidden alley of fabrics behind her, and made a beeline over her exhausted body. was that you, cindy? was i still drunk?

so, after a tete a tete with peter on the best place to go, we headed to dean and deluca's.

at this point, i had had enough of peter, and i told him so. i believe he's reaching for a sharp implement. (photo by marina. i should have taken peter down a dark alley where there would be no evidence.)

coffee refreshed, and mysteriously sans peter, we took to the streets again... THESE DRESSES. the straps on meg's dress are exactly what i wanted, and failed to produce, on my own dress. and do you mark debi and lisette in two of my all time favorite creations? do you know how hard it was to keep my jealous hands away? i think they did it on purpose to tempt me. pink and purple. and peacock. yes please. (photo by vicki, also in pink print... pillowcases. a perfect pendrell. preposterous. peruse the next pic.)

we came close to making good on meg's bag's promise when the proprietress at 21 century fabrics decided to waffle on previously quoted prices. we won. as meg would say: OMG. we are TOTALLY not j/k. (picture by debi. i had no idea this joint had a balcony.)

after 4 more stops (map here) and 5 hours of shopping, several ladies went home happy... we saw lisette off at port authority with a bag bigger than she. thank god, somebody had to beat me and my self imposed and very much broken No Frigging Fabric rule.

we ended the night at room service, where the waitress was hell bent on wasting as much prosecco as possible. elisabeth and sandy joined up, and we did our best to get them drunk. did we succeed? i don't know, elisabeth looks properly toasty in her self stitched goodness (doesn't it go so well with debi's?), but sandy's eyeing meg's fizzy drink. (pictures by marina. there was another half to this table, including le photographer, cindy & mena, but did this co-host pull her camera out? no. i was too busy holding my drink. )

[edit: you gals will be interested to know, the bill was NOT short. my drunk ass dropped 25 bucks out of the loot and, after fisticuffs with meg over who would chip in more (she won, she has like two feet on me), sandy noticed the missing dough on the floor. i had to convince meg i wasn't trying to pull a fast one when i gave her back the extra chip in. of course sewing peeps don't short. we do math all the time.]

we parted ways on ninth avenue, the co-hosts headed to a top secret mission, and new found friends headed to more drinks.

the saddest thing in life is not pear shaped hips. it is ending a meetup with these fantastic peeps and heading into a work filled weekend. but, after the plaster fiasco of saturday morning, i did manage to snag a little extra sunday morning pre-bus coffee time with the awesome sewing scientist...

note my heroin-chic undereyes. credit goes to plaster covered floors, baby shower and bridal party duties. credit for the pose goes to tanit-isis, vicki decided it should be in your honor. would that you were here...

would that alla y'all were here... next time!!!

8am, saturday morning

2011-10-01T14:04:00.000-04:00

WAAAARRRRGGGGGGGGITZ

(our door buzzer goes off like a klaxon alarm signaling the end of the world. i hear ruggy opening the equally abrasive front door as i lie dreamily in bed, having only been under covers since 3am)

(i hear two sets of feet enter the living room)

(my eyes fly open as i fully wake: THEY MISSED THEIR FLIGHTS!!! THEY'RE BACK, THEY'RE BACK!!! I MUST POUR COFFEE!!!)

(as i fling myself joyfully out of bed, ruggy appears with coffee and tells me the repairmen are here)

(the men are still here, plastering some cracks in the ceiling that were supposed to be fixed nine months ago)

DAMN.

i saw meg (bearer of that fabulous bag pictured above which so perfectly fits my mood right now) & debi off last night (yesterday morning, to be exact) at around 2am, after we finished a little sew weekly surprise with mena. we stalled on stuffing their suitcases with the day's finds as long as we could. i expected to spend saturday morning coffee time uploading pics and giving y'all a recap before heading into my bridesmaid / multiple baby shower duties, but instead i'm moving furniture, and watching paint dry. literally.

it is 1:30. the men are now done. they have left behind a fine coating of plaster dust over EVERYTHING.

my saturday plans, it would seem, have changed drastically. luckily i have meetup memories to keep me happy. i'll share them soon... y'all, it was so frigging awesome. what a great bunch of peeps to spend friday with! thank you to everyone who joined us!

thread palette no. 3

2011-09-28T15:58:00.000-04:00

there's not much sewing going on here, as i'm coordinating emails and places and, umm, technicolor fake flowers. because a big blogger meetup always needs fake flowers.

but you can find me sewing away at a couple other places at the moment: karen of did you make that? has given me ugly amnesty for a particularly horrible tunic a la rainbow brite. i think she may have been inebriated when she bestowed that honor. however, her write up is absolutely hilarious and quick witted, so maybe she just holds her liquor really well.

god i like her.

and the latest oona does it! is up as well. written at electronic gunpoint.

i'm off to do more coordinating. peeps! if you've requested info for friday, and haven't received an email from me yet, holler in the comments! it seems some emails have been eaten by the interwebz...

a wee tease

2011-09-26T19:50:00.002-04:00

i stopped by the ridiculously awesome paron fabrics today to alert the good people there: we will be taking them by storm this friday. they're the first stop on the garment district hit list, and the only stop i shall tease you with here. if you've never been, and you can't join us, find a way to GO. it's mood, condensed like the sweetest of milks, a quarter of the size and a quarter of the price. the hallway annex is an absolute steal. the top two fabrics are both rayon (viscose and sateen). is rayon a valued fiber? i don't know, usually the stuff i get is mystery meat (and oh yes, there will be some of that action going on friday as well) so i don't think too much about content. i'm probably the only customer there who heads towards the man made and polys. you should see the designer silks, oh my god.

but the stuff underneath? oh, the stuff underneath. i know this stuff is precious.

when i walked in the joint, mssrs. gary and marc were poring over this fantastosity. it's silk. woven into this. it has a removable backing, we assumed to help keep its shape? the two yard cuts had just arrived today and i grabbed one... at a considerable discount... which i have no doubt the lovely gents at paron will extend to us all...

oh what shall i do. maybe ichicogirl's free shrug pattern, finally? i just can't stop touching it. i don't even care that it's not technicolor!

speaking of which. you may have noticed the yardage of black lurking underneath that brilliant chartreuse and creme fraiche mix. for the first time ever, i've been asked to be part of a bridal party (in real life, girls did not consider me friend material until just recently.) in this party, we are to wear... black. hey. what can you do. what the bride n groom want, the bride n groom get. this is the one area i'm all in, and unlike my last attempt in black, this one will HAVE to see the light of day. now: anybody got a pattern that will make me feel like i'm not wearing black? yet appropo for standing up at the ceremony?

(ps: would you like to join hosts debi, meg and mena at friday's festivities? would you like to eat and very likely drink the day away? be sure to send me your email and i'll send you the details!)

the saddest thing in life

2011-09-23T14:23:00.000-04:00

did you know this? i did not know this. fortunately a couple ladies from the 50s did, and they wrote a sewing book. i found it in my magical canadian library, and i am now learn-ed in the tragedies of hippiness. matter of fact, they can school you on all manner of figure flaws. how i wish i could have taken this fount of information home with me...

we're currently watching mad men (not even on the end of season two yet, no spoilers por favor). ruggy suggested it, and having seen the amazing inspired creations in the blogosphere, i was down. now, i spend 2 hours a night in furious silence, blurting out HE IS A DICKHEAD I HOPE SHE STABS HIM IN THE NECK every so often. what the hell with men in the fifties? what the hell with women in the fifties?

that said, can you imagine the amazing joan adhering to the rules in a book like this? i don't know what's in store for her character; maybe she loses all her morals like everyone else in this show (she was just passed over for the script reading position and i wanted to firebomb the TV) but god i love her.

i'm in the middle of a project that breaks several no-no's for the "short one / wee bit" depicted in these pages. hopefully i'll be breaking the broad shouldered rule in the near future.

that "wrong" picture is FABULOUS. i'm SO making that.

please do click on the pics to enlarge, i've uploaded them full strength in order to pass these words of wisdom on. what can i say, i'm a giver.

tweeeeeeeeeet

2011-09-21T10:31:00.000-04:00

i, oonaballoona, having not sewn for 19 days, do solemnly swear to make a finished garment from this fabric today.

(this is not like my S3 pledge where i packed a suitcase for the first two weeks of september with one handmade top.)

dorkoona and the goddess isis

2011-09-20T12:12:00.000-04:00

dear calgary airport,

you are a hot friggin mess.

love, oona.

after a whole lotta back and forth and crazy work scheduling on my end, the lovely and fascinating tanit-isis and i had a wee 45 minutes in calgary's airport on the day i flew home. i don't have to tell you how paltry that amount of time was. she found me at the air canada kiosk, ferociously punching buttons on the touch screen and shoving passports into the scanner. after repeating "i can't believe you're standing in front of me" enough to sound like rainman, i calmed down, we left ruggy in the customs line, and grabbed some tim hortons tea (the coffee is rumored to have MSG in it. fascinating). we fired off questions at each other in a race against time, lamenting the fabric depot just minutes away.

in rare meetings of international sewing minds like this, priority one is le ensemble. what did miss isis wear?

sha-BLAOW. you would not believe the absolute perfection of stitching going on here. um, do you see those fabulous tights? and i didn't even get a shot of the coat of dreams! you guys, that coat is ridonkulous. it lay casually draped over the chair, softly gleaming, my hands twitching, evil oona on my shoulder scheming how to get it into the suitcase. mais, isis is wise. she brought gifts to distract me. only, like, the most insane print i've ever seen. and, surely due to her goddess powers of psychic precognition, something for ruggy as well.

good thing. when we were done with our tea, we strolled over to the customs line to find ruggy searching for us in a panic. apparently there were big goings on in calgary that day. the line that looked about 15 feet long turned into a snaking disneyland horror once you rounded the bend. he had spent 45 minutes in it, only to be told he couldn't go through customs without wifey. actually, it worked out GREAT for me. he did all the waiting and raced us through to the front, blocking TSA agents left and right like hines ward. thanks babe! you rock! hope your blood pressure's chilled!

god was i a princess that day. ruggy did all the work and i got all the goodies. and what did i have to give? NOTHING. i didn't even have something oonamade to wear! that's a target top up there. avec bad bra. total fail. however, it's probably for the best that i didn't know about our proximity till we were already on canadian soil sans outfit. my sewing skills pale in comparison, and as i don't like to pale in anything, it would have come to UFC blows in the departures lounge. judging from tanit's all around awesomeness, i think it would have been a really good fight. i probably would have worn my bombshell dress. come to think of it, that number might've helped us get through customs quicker. but, i'd be all bloody and bruised from the kicking and punching. six of one, half dozen of the other.

did that happen? did i really meet tanit-isis wearing a pajama top and american eagle jeans? isis, use your psychic powers to get you to the new york meetup! we will get many pictures in many outfits! i promise not to resort to jealousy induced violence!

mr blue sky

2011-09-15T12:32:00.001-04:00

sewing, here? no. but holy SHIT would that be awesome. i pulled a mena and got a few oona does it!s in before our trip.

(can i tell you how happy it makes me to type that exclamation point in every time? i never thought i would be the type to consistently insert the existing punctuation in a title, but there it is. )

this one almost didn't happen, but the guy who inspired this challenge doesn't take no for an answer. after cutting out the burdastyle pattern in my usual size, i realized this is one of the rare EXTREMELY slim fit jammies of their pre-magazine-marries-website collection. there was no hope at the waist and hips. so, i added a long rectangle, isosceles to be exact, between each side seam, tapering to nothing at the bodice (my itty bitties having escaped the slim fit unscathed).

but now, my other guy is calling me to breakfast before a long day of work. catch the rest of the dress & story over at the sew weekly, and godsakes, sew something for me today! with a little liquid refreshment, mais oui. it's 12 o'clock somewhere.

the ICE is gonna BREAK (no actually, it does)

2011-09-13T10:41:00.000-04:00

welcome, my friends. welcome to the columbia icefields.

hop on board this monster (top speed 12 kph)

and keep your eyes skyward as you climb the second steepest incline on a dirt road in the world. it felt like we were ramping up on a rollercoaster. a rollercoaster covered in ice.

some peeps used their feet, cautiously navigating the crevasses.

we used our brains. ruggy brought several water bottles (we had relieved them of their contents earlier in the week) and was happy to brave the frigid temperatures. he came away victorious, and quite red handed. the glacial water is DELICIOUS. we're making coffee with it.

this guy was the first of the behemoths to roll up the glacier. i like the looks of him.

he watches over the melting peaks now, the glacial winds (below 76 F) and hot days stripping them both.

i would like to make a fabric of this landscape and walk around in it forever.

this is like the best place on earth.

2011-09-07T14:23:00.001-04:00

i have in my hot little hands: winifred aldrich's metric pattern cutting. norma r hollen's flat pattern making. and a couple more on draping and cutting, for good measure. for free. from the amazing library i just happen to have at my disposal. did i mention this magical library is surrounded by mountain peaks? it is.

ruggy offered to carry my books back to our room. although my response should have been Delighted Schoolgirl Hands Them Over Giggling, i hugged the books to my chest and told him i would like to hold them FOREVER. later on, my coworkers noticed my loot and asked if i made clothes, the next question of course being did you make what you're wearing? and i had to reply no. because i am an idiot. i signed myself up for self stitched september, packed a suitcase for two weeks, and brought like 3 things self made. 2 of which are oona does it's! and not really everyday wearable.

speaking of, the next installment is up. and i TOTALLY should have brought it with me. no biggie. i'll make stuff when i get back. with the help of winifred.

i'm far too relaxed to think of a title

2011-09-03T21:01:00.000-04:00

o the lovely thread palette i left sitting on my desk. and i don't even care.

ruggy and i are high amidst the canadian rockies for the next two weeks. today we've seen magpies and sat in the shade of mountains enjoying a chorizo and artichoke pizza. now we're heading out to sample what the local brewery has to offer. it's a travel day. we're taking it easy.

do you think this means i won't be able to get you that tutorial? hmmmmmm? o rightfully skeptical crowd, have a drink and relax. make it a double, in honor of the double agent dress. i haz brought my measuring tape, notes, garment, and will be writing it up while we're here. thanks for all the love on it! i hope it proves worthy of all this wait. but then again, it being a free tutorial and all, i'm not going to stress too much about it.

do you have stress? get rid of it, dog. POST HASTE. i just listened to a radiolab podcast on the very subject, and although i knew it was an unhealthy way to live, holy shit, it is a REALLY unhealthy way to live. like, get adult onset diabetes and heart disease. and die young. and feel un-good. if you have stress in your life, and who doesn't, jet on over (calmly, mais oui) and get this podcast. it's uplifting and enlightening and all kinds of everything.

i'm going to be spending the next two weeks working, playing, writing and creating as stress free as possible. just call me chillooona.

before. after.

2011-08-31T11:00:00.000-04:00

i finally added armholes. better than "before". however, my "after" hair is a hot mess.

i was inspired to figure out and finish this stripey number for this week's oona does it!, and i can officially say i'll be posting my first ever tutorial in the next couple of weeks.... you can wear it about 8,000 different ways. no, i'm not kidding. i show you 8 in this week's column!

THERE IS NO CHOICE BUT TO JOIN US

2011-08-28T15:31:00.000-04:00

debi's bringing the wine. meg's got the beer under control. mena's pouring absinthe. and i've got tequila.

get on a plane. get on a train. hop on a boat if you have to (though i'm not fond of traveling by water, myself). this fabulous foursome is taking new york by storm on friday september 30th, and hurricane irene ain't got NOTHIN' on us. come early! come late! or hang out the whole dang day, we've got plans galore!

i'm fairly certain there will be drinking involved.

shoot one of us your email for the details (but maybe you should stick to me, debi or meg. that absinthe is pretty strong). you can catch me at oonaballoona, of the gmail sort, or here in the comments! aaawooooHOOOOOOO!

irene is coming

2011-08-27T16:40:00.003-04:00

we've made her a nice fruit salad. you must always have something on hand for unexpected guests.

hurricane weekend! hurricane weekend! EVERYTHING is closed, including mass transit, we couldn't get out if we wanted to. and we did want to, we had a birthday barbeque to enjoy, but it meant the serious possibility of then being stranded in connecticut for days. with unhappy cats in tow. so we're braving miss irene with relaxed cats instead. it's actually nice, we're forced to be lazy. no gym, no work, no subway... ruggy made several early morning trips for supplies before the sidewalks turned into pumpkins, waiting patiently in market lines wrapping around stores. i picked up a few goodies yesterday before the hysteria truly hit.

(oona peruses the "wellness" section of her neighborhood organic market. she knows this section well and can go it alone. but the New Level Of Customer Service at her recently revamped haunt is eager. without prompting, one attacks.)

eager rep: WHAT CAN I HELP YOU WITH TODAY?

(oona sighs, and decides it's easier to give in than decline.)

oona: just looking for some elderberry.

eager rep: well hereyougo right HERE! they alphabetize things but you know they start over at D for some reason and this line is 30 percent off be sure they know steve said it's 30 percent off!

oona: okay.

(oona escapes to the checkout line. suddenly:)

eager rep: DO YOU HAVE A STRESS TONIC FOR THE HURRICANE?

(speechless at first, oona laughs. upon realizing he is quite serious-- and worried-- she attempts to reassure him.)

oona: yes, i have a bottle of red and a bottle of white, so i think i'll be okay.

(the eager rep blinks. he is truly concerned for oona's health.)

oona: okay. stay dry!

~fin~

while my encounter merely struck me as oddball, ruggy described his own in-store experiences as rude. he lamented that peeps were using irene as an excuse to bump into each other without apology. as far as i'm concerned, that's business as usual in this town, but ruggy's southern manners make him softer skinned. lucky for me. he's the kind of guy that moves a gal to the inside of the sidewalk. the kind of guy you want next to you in a hurricane.

i think i'm gonna go get him a bowl of that fruit salad. and some stress tonic.

happy birthday mom!

2011-08-26T14:22:00.000-04:00

mom of the greenest thumb, whom flowers flock to in adoration, even hurricane irene would not sully this day. i hope you have treats by your side, big daddy on a constant pour, a good flick on the tube, and a calm garden to gaze at!

that city kicked my ass

2011-08-24T09:53:00.000-04:00

last week, i had to suddenly get to baltimore for work. by the end of it all, my head felt like this picture. and my mood was this exact shade of black.

on a short break, i forced myself to walk to guss woolens, which at a sunny 10AM was a sketchy walk. i was rewarded with a couple of beautiful linen remnants. the peeps there were lovely, as were all of the peeps in downtown baltimore, let me make that clear. they were some of the sweetest city peeps i've ever met. but the city itself was an entity, and it was hard to get along with. throw a stone, hit an abandoned building. hell, flick a stone with little to no effort. in my search for sustenance, i found a KFC, a caribou coffee, and fresh fast!, a buffet bar joint posing as health food. mostly sauced meat and iceberg lettuce. and for those of you who've seen the wire, they weren't joking. at least not where i was. they didn't dress that shit up AT ALL. i don't see how they shot that show there, because all of that is REALLY GOING ON. how did they keep reality from getting confused and jumping in with the actors?

i came home sick. i can't remember the last time i was sick. and in august?! i do not get colds in august!

i firmly believe health is connected to stress, and downtown baltimore stressed me way the F out. i think if i lived there, i wouldn't live long. it made me think about the towns i've been to, and how i've felt in them. seattle, for instance. more rain than you can shake a stick at. by default, i should not like it there. but it was during the christmas season, and that town lit itself up like a megawatt lighthouse to keep everyone in the spirit. free coffee and warm smiles on every corner. cleveland: awesome. dallas. holy crap. when i was there, the sidewalks rolled up at 3pm and that was that. but the sky went on forever.

and of course there's new york. last week i was in a love/hate with it, more towards the hate end. but i think every new yorker feels that way. you'd have to be a little crazy not to; i mean, when you're living with 1,634,795 of your closest friends in cramped quarters, someone is bound to piss you off once in a while. but now i'm happy to be back home. even the dinnertime procession of garbage trucks didn't bother me last night. merci, baltimore. your people are lovely, and your country of wealthy neighbors should be doing more to help your city reflect them.

what towns have struck a chord with you, be it minor or major?

(ps: the next oona does it! is up, finished on the train ride home from baltimore. and yes, it's that dark pinhead of a thing up there.)

happy birthday big daddy!

2011-08-16T13:59:00.000-04:00

to the biggest bestest big daddy this side of kalkatroona: i hope your celebratory glasses today were delicious, and may you never see the bottom!

say cheese, for realz.

2011-08-15T23:26:00.001-04:00

bag of cheap baubles from the jewelry district. they put them in a plastic bag to be sure you're not making off with more than you paid for. i need them, you see, for accessorizing. i also like to act shady and make them keep an eye on me while i shop.

this week's oona does it! is up. i wore the purple-y accessory. and i do have a bit of story to tell you that's not in the column.

sis-in-law and i were at mood, me in my challenge dress, she ready to photograph me after our garment district spree. for this challenge, i went with a pattern instead of a self-drafted dress, you know, to change it up a bit.

(oona and sis stand in the woolens section, carefully weighing the pros and cons of a beautiful mohair with the charming and chatty todd, when a second clerk comes a running.)

clerk deux: TODD. wrap it up, we're closing.

(it is 11:30 am. the ladies blink.)

oona: oh, we had no idea you close this early on saturdays--

(second clerk sighs: a resigned sound.)

clerk deux: nooo, we don't. we're taping.

oona: oh.

yeah, project runway called and said they were on the way, CLOSE THE JOINT. apparently this happens all the time, and at a moment's notice (news to me; i shop at paron & chic). sis snagged the mohair and we waited in line. they nearly wouldn't even let us do that (though they were supremely nice and apologetic). as we waited, i inwardly lamented the fact that the ONE TIME i had decided to wear something NOT self drafted, tim gunn and crew were about to storm the castle. what would i say when they saw me? most assuredly they would fall to their knees in adoration, ready themselves to declare me the winner of the current season, and ask with baited breath if i was wearing my own design. i was screwed.

as credit card was handed over, a second call was received. they were not coming. crisis averted. i wondered about all the customers mood had just ejected for nothing.

i guess that's why they say thank-you-mood.

dream lover

2011-08-13T09:26:00.000-04:00

i dreamt the other night that ruggy was my first boyfriend, and after years apart, we were working together. because he was my first love, it seemed perfectly kosher to sit too close and hold hands and touch his hair, even though i was married to someone else. dream oona realized this logic was flawed but let it slide. i woke up nervous, paused, remembered that ruggy is my husband, and was instantly, incredibly happy.

i tell you this because my first ever colette patterns purchase arrived last week. it includes an oolong for me, and a negroni for ruggy.

yes, i am about to embark on Sewing For Others once again. but, as illustrated above, i am insanely in love with this certain Other. in my dreams, i cheat on him... WITH HIM. for this man of men, i am bending the golden rule. plus he really rocked the whole birthday week extravaganza. in the concrete jungle shot of us, we're pre-boarding a sunset cruise, on a yacht, around manhattan, with a cooler full of alcohol and charcuterie that ruggy had prepared himself.

i think that warrants a shirt.

(oh. and i pre-ordered sarai's new book to ease any residual pain.)

gossip girls

2011-08-11T14:57:00.001-04:00

contrary to what those trollops that came to my birthday party might say, i did NOT arrive in my birthday suit. it was tempting, but in the end, reason won out over debi's drunken midnight ramblings about going streaking.

quelle demure, non? this is the top portion of number two from gertie's bombshell course, paired with a (shortened) summer sewing camp for girls skirt. and fabulous shoes that beangirl does not own.

one can almost always count on it to be Africa Hot on my birthday, so i left the boning and lining out this time, and added straps for support. you can see that even though i am a proud member of the itty bitty committee, the top is still sagalicious for want of extra work. and extra work it shall get.

damn stylist. i swear, is it that hard to tuck me in before a shot? i'm sick of hearing he can only do so much with paws. EXCUSES. no catnip for le stylist today.

hello little bustier made in my birthday week! you're a hot mess. interlined, french seamed and bias taped, yes, but still a hot mess. she's on my table for some surgery, she's getting a matching (EGADS!) gathered skirt and possibly an orange accent belt...

but she served her purpose. i had all the color i wanted on The Day, and all the rain i could handle as well. i can't remember the last time it rained on my birthday. the outdoor jazz concert and garden picnic we were ready for turned into a gastronomic fete in my friend's 12 foot long truck. it was So. High School. AWESOME. and luckily my skirt was bright enough to replicate the rays of the sun.

a rare shot of an empty glass. very hard to catch when the glass is mine.

what's on your table?

hair of the dog

2011-08-10T09:59:00.000-04:00

the bender continues over at the sew weekly, my home on mondays. i'm totally stoked with how this challenge came out.

(er uh um uh, yes, i know today is wednesday, 'twas a loaded birthday week.... sorry mena! but i'm all set up now to mix you a mojito! mais, not with the teeny bottle of porfidio. no, that is a special bottle ruggy has been saving for Ten. Years. the alcohol has actually begun to evaporate. i sense a rainy day coming.)

oh little machine needle

2011-08-08T18:56:00.000-04:00

where did you come from?

did i place you carefully to the side while i switched between jersey points and universals? are you a topstitching needle? a stretch, perhaps? you have a 12 on your side... you could be anything.

maybe you're just plain old dull after hours upon hours of use, and i put you aside for certain death in the Waste Basket.

no, don't tremble, little needle. i think i'll use you anyway.

y'all are party ANIMALS.

2011-08-07T20:11:00.004-04:00

it started friday afternoon. meg the grand and daughter fish stormed in, early birds, but most definitely festive birds. meg went big with her favorite thing, unboxing a lifesized coldplay, and miss fish uncorked the vino. the band brought us up to party level in a matter of minutes, meg shaking her pink gremlin covered booty, and daughter fish double fisting it in an otherworldly gold lame infinity dress.

(1. meg of meg the grand, 2. daughter fish of daughter fish)

lladybird, meli and liza jane were next to knock. the beautiful bird had worn her party frock to work to make for a quick arrival. i don't blame her; you do what you have to do to get to the party before all the good alcohol is gone. no one could resist meli's homemade triple chocolate cake, accompanied by a frothy fairy dress.... and i'll be damned if liza jane didn't bring a teepee. i'm not shitting you. she hoped we had high ceilings, and our 11 footers just barely made it possible. she set it up in her groovy tie dyed dress, somebody lit a pipe-- there was a whole 'nother party goin on in there.

(3. lladybird of lladybird, 4. meli of codos on the windowsills, 5. lizajane of lizajane sews)

threadsquare arrived, coolly assessed the situation and chilled the vibe nicely with some tito's vodka, patio grown lime basil, and the classiest summer dress (don't call it a frock!) you ever saw.

(6. threadsquare of threadsquare)

but emilykate, as promised, blew the roof off with a dress made outta easter egg quilting cotton. peeps blinked to be certain they weren't seeing things (quite possible at that point in the evening). that girl is BANANAS. she came empty handed, but no one cared as she brought her most excellent and maniacal sense of humor with her. speaking of maniacs, debi pranced in next... bearing several bottles of wine which she claimed as Her Personal Stash. okay, she didn't say it out loud, but the manner in which she hugged them to her breasts spoke VOLUMES. it was lucky she didn't share; as guests were arriving already obliterated at that point. amy banged on the door wearing only a cloth basket on her head, and carrying two cats. live cats, mind you, not a stole. the kalkatroonan felines took one look at hat and cats, and hid under the bed.

(7. emilykate of this is emily kate, 8. debi of my happy sewing place, 9. amy of sew well)

lisette brought the party train in from rhode island-- she was in the midst of celebrating her own birthday, but that don't stop this chiquita! she's got the cajones to party all weekend, and the gorgeous print dress to do it in style. i eyed it jealously. luckily, reana louise entered dancing with drink in hand and laundry basket on head, and i forgot my jealousy in fits of laughter. i was too far gone to scold lisa for party fouling the shindig in solid colors, and the wine she quickly poured me served as the distraction she'd hoped it would. (plus, those mustard colored tights were the BOMB.)

(10. lisette of what would nancy drew wear? 11. reana louise of curves patterns &amp; pins, 12. lisa of small things)

lexi glided around the party in her aptly named dress, truly looking a magnificent and tres expensive yacht. after midnight, she poured everyone a little cava with a wink and a wiggle of her hips, toasting the actual Day Of My Birth. (oh, were you confused? it was saturday. yes, i know, the whole week long celebration can be a bit confusing. but so very awesome.) full of bubbly, the guests bellowed out happy birthday in several different keys. andrea ran to the door in her fabulous pumps to greet more party guests (i was occupied with the machinations of miss fish's infinity dress, and wondering how i could most easily abscond with it.) oh! andrea exclaimed, and all heads turned to land on the officer in the doorway. i'm sorry, she said in her most innocent voice, are we too loud, officer.... MCNAUGHTY?

(13. lexi of after apple picking, 14. andrea of sew cupcake couture)

that girl brought a stripper to the party. he wrote some citations, jiggled his handcuffs, and then the nightstick came out. let's leave it at that.

sobered after our run in with the po-lice, we were in sore need of some class. enter daisy donut, in a taffeta ballgown, complete with gloves, fan and feathers, mais oui, her maid by her side carrying the veuve cliquot and fresh bouquet. when karen, decked out in retro roses, waltzed in and took a gander at the level of high fashion going on, she decided it wouldn't do to just mix the cocktails she brought. no, she packed the lot of us onto a plane and flew us to her favorite new american bar in london, where a little imbibing, a little hanky panky, and a LOTTA serenading ensued. (karen, what a melodious voice you have!)

(15. daisy of daisy donuts, 16. karen of did you make that?)

in honor of karen's most excellent treat, kirsty donned her london dress, though we were too wasted at that point to get a snapshot. heads cut off, blurry, and the like. someone did snag a picture of her clutch. there was a cthulhu in there. i don't know why. or what, for that matter. suspicious activity was afoot. need further proof? elly showed up... in a cut out dress. le hipster triangle!!! EGADS!!! she spied my raised eyebrows and threw homemade cookies at me. as i dove for the sweet treats, louise quietly yet unabashedly slugged from her wee pink flask, giggling in her chic, shimmery dress and wearing her sunglasses... at night.

(17. kirsty of the reel mccoy, 18. elly of adventures in refasioning, 19. louise of a view into my world)

karen of london mixed another cocktail and wondered where sarah had gotten off to... we assumed she'd been pinned down under a mass of lime green polka dots. there are worse fates. but oh, to have missed molly's psychedelic song of a dress! did that dress really happen? was it a drunken hallucination? truly, colors like that must be a figment of cabernet.

(20. sarah of rhinestones and telephones, 21. molly of toferet's empty bobbin)

lookee there, 21 peeps, my exact age, quelle kismet!

hey wait just a goddamn minute. no one got a picture of the birthday girl?! I DECLARE PARTY FOUL!!! y'all must have been jealous of my second bombshell dress. that's okay, i understand. it was drool inducing. i'll just have to rectify that tomorrow.

eep, hold le phone! a last minute guest arrives--- and the best kind, she's here to help me clean up! shawnta's brought a few of my favorite things in the form of a menagerie of jungle animals (how did you KNOW?!) and her very most favorite thing: her adorable daughter and fellow leo birthday girl, in a handmade outfit from mama. she looks tall enough to wield a broom, non? wait, child, where are you going?

(22. shawnta's lioness daughter of peace love &amp; namaste)

want to see some fabulous outfits and hear the party guests' versions of the ~~debauchery~~ story? just click on the links!

i thank you from the bottom of my empty wine glass for coming to my party, it was a blast to have you chez kalkatroona! i am the happiest balloonian in the blogosphere!

WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE

2011-08-06T00:33:00.000-04:00

from your hosts, oona and ruggy, we're GIDDY over the party fabulousness flying in to our concrete jungle from around the globe! well, i'm giddy, ruggy is quite manly.

we all sang happy birthday to party guest lisette, who celebrates today in a frock of many colors... there's already much drunken behavior going on. a certain someone brought a teepee, another party hound (in a dress; NOT a frock) brought some seriously good vodka, and, erm, one chickie brought some felines.

to make matters worse, the band in a box is not behaving. this could get wild.

i'm off to pour more drinks and welcome more guests! this is an all nighter!

i haven't got a thing to wear!

2011-08-04T22:51:00.000-04:00

good lord, party guests are on their way and i'm nowhere NEAR ready! my skirt isn't even HEMMED!

it's all ruggy's fault. he's become way too good at the birthday week. tonight, he whisked me to moma to see the most-awesome-band-we-did-not-know-about ever, chico trujillo. moma never had such a throwdown in their backyard. the lead singer stomped about like he was at the most drunken party driven political rally in the world. and i'm talking about the good kind of party. they had a horn section. THEY HAD A HORN SECTION.

i know i should be polishing the crystal and pressing my party frock, but i'm too full of wine and ska beats to get my ass in gear!

don't worry though, i'll catch my second wind. this place will be lit up like the fourth of july for your arrival. you're coming from many corners of the globe, i hope, so please, don't feel the need to be right on time. we allow for all manner of party guest chez kalkatroona-- night owls, early birds, and twelve hour time differences-- this is a BENDER, people! i'll expect you anytime from friday morn till saturday night. weekend house party baby...

just knock REALLY LOUD and let me know you've arrived, i wouldn't want to leave you out of sunday's "who's who" post!!!

hipper than hip

2011-08-03T09:37:00.000-04:00

i am feeling like the most perfect birthday brat there ever was.

last night ruggy surprised me with tickets to death cab for cutie. we found out about the concert after all the scalpers had bought up blocks of tickets, but ruggy waited patiently and on the day of, he pounced. face value, peeps! take that scalpers!

i wore my "new" flouncy pleated skirt. this was a RTW dress, a dress sized for a pixie, and the zipper never even came close to fulfilling its life work. i hacked off the bodice and voila! new skirt. by the by, my most recent oona does it! features a maxi denim version of this trickery.

the top is burdastyle's cap sleeve dress, bodice only. well, let's face it, the bodice is all you get in this pattern. if you've made this jammy (and a lot of peeps did, for sew weekly's kiss the cook challenge), you know there are hella fit issues. i lowered the waistline, raised the neckline, and gathered the sleeves at the shoulder seams, which keeps them where they should be, rather than down around my elbows. how unseemly.

and because it's made with le stretch jersey, no zipper.

do you listen to death cab? when we arrived at the waterfront concert in brooklyn, there was a line of people snaked around ten blocks baking in the sun. practically all of these people were under 18. we often find ourselves in this time warp of age. at the last peter gabriel concert we went to in jersey, everyone was of the over 60 set.

ruggy spied a happy gentleman in a brooklyn brewery t shirt and asked him for the skinny. what's on tap tonight? we're thirsty. brooklyn man grinned (they all do; brooklyn brewery must be a very happy place to be) ipa, summer ale... lemme get you guys a wristband. i'll just check her ID.

who, ME???? pshaw.

this little refashion comes complete with lining and taffeta flounce, which indeed was its saving grace. someone put a lot of work into this. i couldn't abandon it on account of a tinkerbell sized bodice.

it's nice to be the big people at a concert like that. the first thing we did was grab some alcohol and sit by the water, fuzzy bees getting drunk in the grass at our feet as we looked out at the manhattan skyline and shared a pork sausage sandwich. we could hear the kiddies clamoring behind us to get close to the stage. remember when we'd push to the front? i chuckled. this is so much nicer.

sixty seconds into ben gibbard's vocals, i grabbed ruggy's hand and pushed through the crowd like the teenaged fan i am. admittedly, the proximity of hipsters did wear thin, and a few songs later we returned to a calmer spot, bouncing and smiling and occasionally turning to watch the sun set behind us.

they were amazing. ben gibbard didn't stop moving for two and a half hours, running back and forth to drums, keyboard and guitar, at one point banging away with the drummer, facing each other on two kits and looking like a couple of muppets. every ten minutes, ben told the audience to turn around and look at your city NOW! like a giddy tourist. they closed with this song, which goes from a couple of soft notes on a piano to a walloping chest thumping skyscraper of sound that makes you want to scream in joy.

the waistband of this skirt wasn't sturdy enough, having been dissected from its bodice appendage, so i threw some twill tape in there, sandwiching in some red circle-y dollar a yard trim, and then topstitched some triangles for good measure.

egads, triangles. do hipsters get a dress code mailed to them or something? i lost count of the number of cut out dresses. specifically ones with an isosceles triangle sliced out of the back of the dress, from waistband to bra closure. these sharper edged cut out dresses make me think someone forgot a pattern piece. they also make me think buffalo bill is lurking around waiting to make him a woman dress.

hey, what a great creepy segueway to say i'm THRILLED y'all are coming to my party! i hope you're getting your dresses ready!

AUGUST IS THE MOST AWESOME MONTH IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD!!!

2011-08-01T19:49:00.000-04:00

firstly, thank you for puffing my big head up EVEN MORE in regards to my tiki tiki tavi bombshell dress! i've responded to each of your lovely hollas in the comments section, because i am type A to the fifth power. (when i entered my exclamation pointed responses into the wee comment box, blogger wouldn't allow it, because it was like a 4,500 word comment. i shit you not.) and guess what? my dress was a featured project today at burdastyle and a top 25 for july. i must have just eeked in. or it could be because it's my birthday week.

oh, did i not tell you that today marks the beginning of my birthday week? i didn't? IT DOES!!! this morning ruggy woke me with the best coffee in the world and cherry scones. and tonight we're having fried chicken. he SO gets the birthday week. and i'm doing my very best to wear something me-made every day. a few weeks ago, i finally jumped on the coffee date dress bandwagon and whipped this up. it's most definitely man made material, stretchy, and highly flammable. it's a good thing i'm not blowing out any candles today.

i did away with the ruffly bit, sliced here and there where i thought i should on the paper pattern (a little off the curved waist, a little off the neckline too square it up) and used this great twin needle technique at burdastyle to cover up the holey bits. there are a few drunken bits, but i'm cool with it. so i played dress up today.

speaking of dressing up, would you like to come over for a party? i would so love to have you chez kalkatroona. it'll have to be a virtual party, cause let's face it, new york apartments are not large. and who knows what sort of bunch you are in person. surely debi would drink me out of house and home. i imagine emilykate and karen especially could wreak much havoc, should they ever meet. and don't even get me started on beangirl.

now, while i am quite enamored of birthday prizes, i don't want you shelling out all that hard earned imaginary virtual cash for an oonaesque trinket. non, i would like instead for you to bring one of your favorite things to this shindig.

not catching my drift? allow me to explain. this past drunken weekend, i was regaled with tales of house parties my parents had, one most excellent birthday party in particular. in their raucous hippie newlywed days, papa balloona asked all their friends over, and requested that in lieu of prizes, guests brought their favorite things. records, booze, sweets, what have you. that was a blowout party, apparently. you can imagine what sort of things big daddy's friends favored.

BRILLIANT idea, i thought. then, upon reading amy's comment on my bombshell dress: i love that it's inspiring a glamorous game of dress-up with everyone! the virtual party idea was born.

so! this friday august 5th, if you like, post your very most fabulous/wild/outrageous/lovely party outfit on your blog (hand made, mais oui), and tell me what you're bringing to the fray! holler at me here, and i'll link to every party guest in a tipsy post on sunday, the end of my birthday week.

be sure to strike a party pose...

won't you come on over? i'd love to see you!

craftsy + gertie = HEAVEN

2011-07-29T19:45:00.005-04:00

oh hai. how are you? moi? i've been tucked away in a cave of sewing bliss for the past three days making the Best. Dress. EVER. no, seriously, look, i'm not really one to be all look at what i made ohmygod it's soooo pretty right?! but lemme just say:

LOOK AT WHAT I MADE OHMYGOD IT'S SOOOO PRETTY RIGHT?!

a couple weeks ago, craftsy asked if i'd like to take gertie's bombshell dress course and do a wee review here on le blog. smell ME. this is the first review i've been asked for! in my daydreams of what will i do if i'm ever asked to do a review i always included full disclosure. so: they graciously linked me to the course for free, but you can be certain i am absolutely honest in my opines. i think you know by now i don't pull many punches. let me admit to you also, in my smallest and most embarrassed voice possible: i never would have taken the course otherwise. as you may have noticed, i am quite certain that i already know everything there is to know about everything. i don't need to shell out for instructions or new techniques or what have you.

silly oona. i need anything gertie haz.

but i'm getting ahead of myself. do you know about craftsy? i didn't till now. craftsy is a delicious site. the layout, the colors, the peeps, the information... i could eat it with a spoon. and a mint julep. probably a nice fresh burata cheese as well. it's a bit more craft heavy (natch), but there are garment makers there with a very retro vibe. a LOT of truly funky knitting going on as well. that said, i wasn't expecting anything more than some pretty sewing videos with good information (after all, it's gertie).

silly oona. the good people at craftsy are type As of the first order. mere videos do not cut it in their universe.

you get chapters. glossaries. shopping lists. supplies links. classroom discussions. course notes. oh! the course notes! i want to kiss the course notes on the mouth! as you're merrily rolling along, hit "take notes" and marvel as a sweet yellow lined pad pops up under the instantly paused video. type in your note and save it. the video immediately resumes, but wait! days later, you're on chapter 15 and you want to remember something you jotted down waaaay back in chapter 2? hit the little marker on your yellow notepad, et volia. you are flown to that exact spot in the video. SWEET.

also sweet, you're able to see everyone's questions to gertie on each step. she answers them all (she may have cloned herself), and you can chime in with advice or ask your own question. craftsy has an eye on it as well, and they're on problems like white on rice. par example: you're using a burdastyle pattern here (which is included with the course fee), and as usual burdastyle puts no info on the pattern pieces other than a number and a straight grain. this control freak likes to know what every piece is from the get-go. i wrote my first classroom question, then found the link myself at burdastyle minutes later, and answered myself so that my classmates could have the info. that evening craftsy responded, thanking me for pointing out the url and adding it to their supplies sheet.

let me say here that a jaded sort would think the quick response was partly due to the fact that i'm reviewing the course. for shame. being a type A myself, i can tell you anyone as organized as the peeps who made this bowlful of sewing sugar would surely scramble to fix something forgotten. it's a mark on a spotless course, chrissakes. that won't do, reviewer or no.

and don't think for a minute (like i did) you'll be walked through making a straight up burdastyle pattern. gertie does alchemy with this jammy, and lets you in on ALL the magic. that baby is underlined, padded, boned and handstitched. light years away from the burdastyle instructions.

and that's why you need a muslin. did i say i'd done a bona fide muslin before? i lied. this is a bona fide muslin. i've never had a bodice fit so well. speaking of bodice, my larger breasted friends, gertie's got you covered. there's like five chapters on modifying the bodice to suit you. even though i did not go all hollywood in that department, i still used her adjustment to raise the ever-low-tide burdastyle bustline. and here's where the small, managable bodice pieces made this an excellent pattern choice for this course; fitting the bodice is a lot of work.

va va voom, i haz breasts!

but, it's a lot of highly enjoyable work. you could even call it play. when this course first came out, it was proffered as a "staycation" in the sewing blogosphere. i scoffed. how are muslins and couture techniques a vacation? joke's on me. that's EXACTLY what it is. i had the best time making this dress along with gertie. who, by the way, wears a new and fabulous handmade outfit in each video. she was dee-lightful to watch and learn from. a piece of sweet retro candy wrapped in couture vintage palettes. i might have a girl crush on her.

i'm so not even holding the sides down here, it fits perfectly, this dress just makes you want to strike a pose.

like so.

i'm quite aware that i'm gushing, and probably pushing you away in doing so. i can't help it. you go must go get this course. yes, it's money, and who has it, but holy shit, the sheer amount you'll learn will stay with you in every garment you make. and if you follow gertie's videos, you WILL have a perfect dress.

all right. rant over. do you want your own? the fab peeps at craftsy know the peeps over here in kalkatoona rock, so just use this special oonafied link to get your own bombshell course for half off (a penny under 30 bucks!) and show me what you made if you do!!!

it makes my head hurt

2011-07-26T09:39:00.001-04:00

the fabric, not the vino.

over at the sew weekly, the next oona does it! is up, in which i finally paired that maxi skirt y'all voted on. i went as matchy as i could. i detest it.

and now, while there is daylight, i must begin the 3,000 hours of sewing i have set up for myself this week. i look forward to an evening of catching up with what's on your table. if you could have a nice rose chilled, i'll bring the cheese.

la + la = sew

2011-07-21T10:04:00.000-04:00

a whiles back, saro commented:

Have you ever done a post of how you got started sewing? You're so fearless, I love it..

well, lassie, i'll tell ya, it had a little bit to do with boredom, a little bit to do with impatience, and a LOT to do with keeping my sanity.

peeps who have trolled through the recesses of le blog may recall its beginnings in lalaland. los angeles, for the uninitiated. and bless those who haven't had the chance to experience it. it's a hot mess. you get in your car, you drive an hour (at the least) to get to wherever you're going, you get back in your car, you drive, you get home, where you have the choice of staying in or braving the cesspool of schmoozing that is LA nightlife. to survive said cesspool, everyone drinks. and then gets back in their cars.

now, at the risk of losing another follower (i lost one today! it could be the cursing. and/or excessive drinking.) if you grew up in LA, i'm sure it's a different story. but the nature of the main business of the town, the business of show, makes it hard to find much that's real there. ruggy & i counted ourselves extremely lucky to have each other, we kept each other cemented to the earth. i can't tell you how many times i was calmly and quite seriously told i needed a boob job. or how often ruggy was propositioned a night of booze and sex, from both sides.

but i digress. upon hearing kalkatoona would be inhabiting the land of LA for a spell, a good friend advised me to get a hobby. i have plenty of hobbies, i thought, i'm a CRAFTER! i draw and knit and make cards and jewelry. i'l be fine. NOT SO. none of these kept me near enough occupied in downtime.

i'd been idly chirping about wanting a dress form for years, ever since my first (very short) visit to LA. the lovely ladies i subletted from had a vintage form in their apartment, for show, and while i worked on handmade wedding invites i imagined draping gowns on it. the christmas we made our big move, parental balloonas shocked me with a featherweight, and mama ruggy surprised me with a pair of gingher shears and a dress form-- she even roped her sister into getting me pinking shears. i just about fell over.

we hauled the booty back to LA and i dove into my first pattern, new look 6557. i had picked out some horrible synthetic stuff from hancocks, turquoise and red and orange and yellow phoenix motif on brown (shit brown, to be exact) and i just knew that i'd have the perfect summer dress by five o'clock that evening. i didn't bother reading much about anything. reading instructions makes me feel i am being told what to do. ask ruggy how that goes. so i just placed the pattern pieces where ever they'd fit and got cutting. you can imagine how that worked out.

disgusted with myself, but sure it was solely the pattern's fault, i punished the sewing accessories by putting them away for several months. we then enjoyed the coldest winter OF OUR LIVES. the beautiful worn down french doors and sprawling patios we fell in love with on craigslist let an arctic chill in at night that was unbearable. heating our laurel canyon find came to about $500 a month. seriously. we layered ourselves up like mountain climbers and wore down coats to bed.

spring arrived, and with the warm breezes rolling in, i thought it would be nice to have a few new dresses. with no cash in my pocket (all of it having gone to con ed) i turned to the internet for help. free help, to be exact. and found burdastyle. at the time, they had only been running a year or so, and everything. i mean EVERYTHING. was FREE. the first pattern i downloaded and made was the danielle dress:

(back then , i didn't have a head. LA had absconded with it. the uneven waistline is equally proportional to the amount of teeny 'tinis ruggy would make for us every evening. because they were teeny, you could have seven.)

taping the pattern together was terrifying. i left a freak out comment on the forum, worried that i'd ruin the dress before i even began because my test square was off by 1cm. now i shrug my shoulders and tape without even checking.

this time, i read through the instructions carefully and followed them as best i could. the instructions were most definitely ESL. i think this was the reason i was able to force myself into patience; in my head, i would chuckle softly, and gently correct their english. made me feel like i was the boss. i like to feel that i am the boss.

and it went from there. i freed the new look bodice and married it to the danielle skirt.

both of these were done up in quilters cotton. that section of joanns is a veritable candy store, it's not surprising that burgeoning sewists head there first and without shame.

had my first try at making something for someone else; pajamas for valentine's day (forgetting that, ahem, boys have extra junk in le crotch. the beginnings of the No Sewing For Others rule). tried the celestina. the sabrina. ooooo, the sabrina, i love that one. i need to make that one again, this time in something other than an urban outfitter's curtain panel. the desira. also from a curtain panel.

this one still survives in my closet! the same cannot be said for the jeans, they ripped right up the ass in public. at a job interview, to be exact.

i went through the prerequisite making of the butterick walkaway dress, from vintage bedsheets (total failure). ruggy and parental balloonas fed the flames with a subscription to burda magazine. i ventured into apparel fabrics. and LA is just fantastic for estate sales. lotsa folks kicking it daily. many of them possessed of vintage sewing accoutrement and mad men esque decor. for pennies! at one point i had three machines for a grand total of 70 bucks. and sewing books, oh, sewing books. two claire schaeffer bibles and countless vintage sewing handbooks. whenever i was stumped, i looked into one of these. but mostly i just grinned and cut and hoped for the best. every success felt awesome, and i learned with each failure.

my obsession survived the move back to NY. the dress form, sadly, is still in a storage unit in LA. it waits patiently for me, ready to keep me from a killing spree, should we ever venture back...

so, to sum up, saro, (do you have a link, lassie?) lack of funds + lack of society + lack of patience = fearless sewing.

what's your equation?

there's a ferris wheel in my stash

2011-07-18T21:50:00.000-04:00

have a ride with me over at the sew weekly....

sew weekly sunday: got a black magic woman

2011-07-17T22:56:00.003-04:00

on my sewing list:

one (1) maxi dress, wedding guest style, for a best friend who is shortly packing up and leaving town

one (1) jungle gym "roof" with ten (10) grommets measuring six by five (6x5!!!) feet for another friend's child

one (1) invisibility cloak to throw on when peeps ask me to sew for them

i was really excited about the current sew weekly challenge: finding inspiration in album art. album art, like music videos, used to be the BOMB, y'all. i would sort through my parents' collection in a mixture of fear and amazement. (ahem, that is, when i reached the age of understanding and appreciation. apparently, before that, brother beast and i used the two-record set of "the white album" as carpet ice skates. in our defense, the album cover was white. just white.)

it's a mystery to me why i would want to put this on my blog. this cover scared the bejesus out of me. it's reminiscent of blue meanies... ehhhh, those things REALLY scare me. i just googled them to jog my memory. i'm not putting them up on le blog. no, my brotha, you must go google your own.

ah, that's better. a little phoebe snow. she is a warm summer night with a gin and tonic. i loved this one because of her freckles and curls.

but my favorite was santana's abraxas. you'll excuse the naked women and the strategically placed dove.

i loved the blue tattoos on the red angel, and her fantastic wings-- i mean, she's riding a STRIPED CONGA DRUM (although daughter fish tells me it is a congo. i am sure she is correct). all that pattern and print and cloth kept me fascinated every time. telling?

weirdly, my stash full of prints didn't have anything near enough wild for this. i had to find and then wrestle this yardage away from a small woman.

in the garment district, stores will often have a large cardboard box filled with remnants at awesome prices. usually, several customers elbow each other over one stuffed box. my favorite remnant store has two such boxes, which is handy. on this particular occasion, Small Woman pawed through one. i could see treasures at her fingertips, but i decided to take the other box. how civilized.

but the minute i began to sift, she dumped her finds and walked over to my box. she didn't dig through it, nooo, she just waited for me to find something good and then grabbed it. and forcefully pulled. while inching ever closer to me. in disbelief, i asserted my rights: excuse me, but you're way too close right now. silence, and continued pawing.

i stepped forcefully into her side and shoved my hands into fabric, coming up victorious with 6 yards of silk chiffon. her greedy mitts were on it immediately. i got loud. HONEY? THAT'S MINE. the small woman cared little. can i see, can i see. not a question so much as a statement. you can SEE... knowing she did not infer my meaning to be: but you cannot HAVE, i kept a firm grip on my prize as she pored over it. i gave her three seconds to "see", then pulled it out of her hands and walked away. surely there were more treasures in the box, but i didn't want my prize ripped in half. when the proprietress paused in checking me out to help another customer, Small Woman actually picked it up AGAIN and began to walk away with it. at this point i just rolled my eyes and watched as the owner wrestled it away, in a weird emotionless silent dance.

that's abraxas in silk chiffon, yo!

i was going to make a simple summer halter dress, but when i draped it over my shoulder it told me it was too hard won to be an everyday something. it wanted to be an evening gown. for like, a gala. i hope that it will be.

i just need to get on that invisibility cloak.

get you a southern boy

2011-07-14T15:54:00.003-04:00

(it is a sweaty summer day. having spent the previous night with her wino friends, and a subsequent afternoon with her wino parents, oona struggles to keep conscious. she is wearing a shift dress that is far too snug in the armhole area. she knows there is a quick fix to this, but it involves the sharp blade and maniacal rattle of her elna prolock. she needs her wits securely about her first. suddenly, inspiration.)

oona: RUGGY. make some sweet tea!

ruggy: you can do it. it's really easy.

oona: southern boy, you know you'll make it better.

(ruggy rattles off instructions as oona stomps around the kitchen:

one growler, one large glass measuring cup

pour 500 grams boiling water over 6 black tea bags

steep 15 minutes

strain tea into growler

add a pinch of baking soda, 75 grams of agave nectar, and 1/8 tsp vanilla

add filtered water to fill the rest of the growler

shake it up

et voila.

they drink.)

oona: my tea is not as good as yours.

ruggy: that's because you ain't southern.

(time passes. oona pounds away on her laptop. ruggy, sipping the mediocre tea, senses he is being typed about.)

ruggy: still good though. congratulations on your first tea making venture.

oona: thank you.

ruggy: next time do better.

(next time, oona will add rum.)

name dropping

2011-07-11T15:12:00.000-04:00

why so pale, oona?

come on over to the sew weekly and i'll tell ya all about it.

sew weekly sunday: nothing in my hands, nothing in my pockets...

2011-07-10T22:20:00.000-04:00

ooooooooooooh, look how pretty...

let the thread mesmerize you and distract you from the fact that i have no sew weekly sunday for you... aaaaahhhhhhh...

been watching a lot of "friends" with a lot of wine and a lot of ruggy in the hot summer evenings. so, read that above bit to yourself in a "phoebe" voice, won't you? been sewing, too. that thread up there is the current circulation for what's on my table (all for one piece, mind you). just have to figure out how to get sewing for oona does it! and sewing for me and sewing for friends to all jive--

WHAT. yeah yeah, i KNOW i said no sewing for friends. i continually break rules, did you not know this about me? it cannot be helped.

god i love summer. I LOVE SUMMER. it is absolutely the best. it could have something to do with my being a summer baby (oh yeah, that noise is most certainly coming), it could have something to do with new yorkers fleeing the scalding city like rats from a drowning ship and leaving it all to our greedy little hands, it could have everything to do with SUNSHINE. yesterday, we walked forty blocks down to chelsea market, had a crepe or two, bought some costa rican coffee, buffalo mozzarella, green olives, pate, and cracked open a bottle of french red with our in-house picnic that night. ruggy turned to me and said:

this is FUN.

oh hellz yeah it is.

what about y'all? are you in summer where you are? what's your summer fun?

summersummersummersummer

2011-07-08T08:28:00.001-04:00

is moving along like a carnival ride.

yesterday i told ruggy i had two oona does it! ideas to make and no material. i needed black. and white.

he said: you don't wear black. or white.

ruggy is right.

my stash looks like this carnival.

those glasses are crazy

2011-07-05T14:37:00.000-04:00

come on over to the sew weekly and see who tried to kill me this time. also revealed: the intended fabric behind my UFO wearable muslin (pictured below, and successfully nip tucked in time for the 4th. avec red piping. then i decided it was too on the nose and didn't wear it. women.)

sew weekly sunday: room for improvement

2011-07-03T23:18:00.002-04:00

in an effort to jump back on the sew weekly challenge wagon, i decided to kill two peacocks with one stone and use the UFO challenge as a muslin for my next "oona does it!" challenge.

this did not work. details mañana.

BUT. i did get really careful and work really hard on a big time honest to god muslin (mrs cisco is proud. she's also kind of pissed that y'all are calling her mrs crisco, which i love). i had a UFO in the form of a maxi skirt laying in my closet for a year. there was so much material in it, i couldn't see getting rid of it, but i made an extremely poor choice with some very beautiful leather that had been laser cut to look like crochet...

that beautiful piece of remnant was about a foot long and five inches wide before i hacked it to pieces, thinking it would be so cool; who puts leather embellishment on a maxi skirt?! i am the BOMB! mama balloona sure did raise one free spirited child!!!

and then it ended up looking like regular crochet. a doilie, to be exact. on a maxi skirt. alls i needed was the wagon and the campfire. having successfully ruined a coveted piece of leather, into the closet it went.

so. UFOs. i gotz em. and in this one, i had the yardage for a small town. glutton for punishment that i am, i chose another burdastyle mag online pattern. actually, it lounged in my shopping cart for days, but when i saw the exquisite alison dahl's liberty version, that sealed the deal.

but! lo and behold! their petite sizing rocks. way happier am i buying le petite pattern from burdastyle. i still took an inch off for my short waist, but the proportions suit my diminutive stature... and no swayback adjustment!

however, today i noticed gaping all over the front and back top panels. must've been the merlot. it's getting darts tomorrow, so i guess it's still a UFO.

my scheming needs work. and i must have a red belt as well. for the independence celebrating and all, dontcha know.

fabric: cotton print, ($1 yd)

pattern: burdastyle dress with a-line skirt ($5.40. peeps. can we get a little creative naming?)

notions: invisible zip ($1)

time to complete: 4 hours

first worn: today

wear again: tomorrow, avec something red.

total cost: $9.40

oonaballoona

it's just a phase

spotted on spring and lafayette

sopa and pipa can sucka my ▇▇▇▇

suspicious activity

our lady of the subway car

i like me some me

but baby, he's two thousand more than you...

pattern clones

administrative interlude

and now for something completely normal.

late to the party, but i bring booze

found

what did you do new year's eve Eve

two cool

merry merry wish

face it.

evil dead christmas

hubba husband

whoah (!)

you dress like a tourist

nothing says christmas like 36 inches of steel

on why i am a (very bad) ass

and the winner is....

iwannahula

facial relation

so far...

seasonal pattern weights

you need jesus

hey thanks karen that was GREAT.

THE DOUBLE AGENT DRESS TUTORIAL

candy cane cutie: a present for you *CLOSED!*

jimmy crack corn

booty shakin earth quakin

for angie a

sunday prayer

mwah

saturdays are for electrocuting yourself

l lika de lace

BLACK ATTACK

what makes you feel beautiful?

ny meetup

8am, saturday morning

thread palette no. 3

a wee tease

the saddest thing in life

tweeeeeeeeeet

dorkoona and the goddess isis

mr blue sky

the ICE is gonna BREAK (no actually, it does)

this is like the best place on earth.

i'm far too relaxed to think of a title

before. after.

THERE IS NO CHOICE BUT TO JOIN US

irene is coming

happy birthday mom!

that city kicked my ass

happy birthday big daddy!

say cheese, for realz.

dream lover

gossip girls

hair of the dog

oh little machine needle

y'all are party ANIMALS.

WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE

i haven't got a thing to wear!

hipper than hip

AUGUST IS THE MOST AWESOME MONTH IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD!!!

craftsy + gertie = HEAVEN

it makes my head hurt

la + la = sew

there's a ferris wheel in my stash

sew weekly sunday: got a black magic woman

get you a southern boy

name dropping

sew weekly sunday: nothing in my hands, nothing in my pockets...

summersummersummersummer

those glasses are crazy

sew weekly sunday: room for improvement

candy cane cutie: a present for you CLOSED!